The Search for the Big Pink albeit Cursed Diamond
by Hobbit-eyes
Summary: It's the day after the end of Pirates of the Caribbean, and Jack has sailed off, and Will and Elizabeth are engaged. But when Elizabeth's childhood rival also gets engaged, he discovers just how demanding she can be... Time for a new adventure!
1. When fiancees get demanding

Yes, to stave off boredom - and because Pirates of the Caribbean is one of the fabbiest films in the WORLD - I've written this story. It's bizarre, it's random, I hope it's funny - yup, it's like me in every way. Next chapter you will have the chance to be IN the story, but I hope you enjoy this one, which sort of sets the scene... Enjoy!  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean or any of the characters. Believe me, if I owned Will Turner, you'd know about it...  
  
* * * * *  
  
The Search for the Big Pink Pretty albeit Cursed Diamond  
  
Chapter 1 - When Fiancées get demanding  
  
The sun rose over Port Royale. Birds were tweeting, pirates were pirating, and lobsters were - doing whatever lobsters do. Lobstering? Anyway, Will was dreaming of a night spent in Tortuga (which Will had discovered lived up to its motto 'Where you can spend a caveful of treasure in one night') when a shriek woke him up.  
  
"WILL!!!!!!!!" came the cry from the next room. Will jumped about a foot in the air and, missing the bed on his landing, somersaulted by force of habit and hit his head on the table. Muttering curses under his breath, he stumbled out of the room and down the hall to Elizabeth's room.  
  
"Yes, Elizabeth?" he said, as politely as you can when you've just been woken up by a table leg. Needless to say, he sounded slightly grouchy. Elizabeth turned and glared at him, then resumed looking out the window with binoculars.  
  
"That bitch Hannah just got engaged as well. When she KNOWS we only got engaged yesterday. Has to steal my thunder, doesn't she?"  
  
"Yes," yawned Will, "But we're getting married, and that's all that matters, right?"  
  
Elizabeth glared again. "Do you know ANYTHING about women? That Hannah always has to go one better than me! First it was her getting into a size 4 dress, when I can only reach a size 6-"  
  
"And nearly drown in the process," added Will. If looks could kill, Will would have been suffering an extremely painful demise. "Whoops," he thought.  
  
"And is she content with that?" said Elizabeth, choosing not to kill him until she was done ranting, "No, she's never satisfied, now she's only gone and got engaged to Norrington!"  
  
"What?" said Will, leaping forward to look out the window, tripping, again somersaulting out of habit and nearly sailing straight out the window. But luckily, since he seems to have been born under the same star as Frodo Baggins, he caught hold of the windowsill and pulled himself back in. "Commodore Norrington?"  
  
"YES!" said Elizabeth indignantly, "And he was all set to marry me yesterday!"  
  
"But you didn't want to," pointed out Will.  
  
"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!!!!" shrieked Elizabeth, "You would have thought that he'd be heartbroken for at LEAST a week, rather than getting engaged the very next DAY!!!"  
  
"Well, maybe he didn't love you that much after all," said Will. Elizabeth again fixed him with a steely glare. "Whoops," thought Will again, and edged away from the open window.  
  
"Now everyone's talking about her getting engaged to the most eligible man in the Spanish Main, and I'm stuck with a BLACKSMITH!!!" wailed Elizabeth.  
  
"I'm a pirate!" protested Will.  
  
"Yes, Will, you just keep telling yourself that," said Elizabeth, "But we need to get back at her! We need to BEAT her at something!"  
  
"Why?" said Will, "Why do we need to? We defeated Captain Barbossa and the crew of the Black Pearl, has she done anything like that?"  
  
"No," said Elizabeth, "But that doesn't matter to people, they only care about the fact that she's the heiress of her father's fortune and estate!"  
  
"She is?" said Will, sounding impressed. Too impressed.  
  
"Oh, why don't you go marry HER?" shrieked Elizabeth again, "Why don't I go join up with Jack again and run off to sea with him?"  
  
"Oh god no," said Will, "Look, Elizabeth, I think you're overreacting slightly-"  
  
There was a knock on the door. The butler opened it, and a girl swept in, wearing a very expensive dress.  
  
"Hello Elizabeth," she said, clearly in a state of feigned excitement, "Did you hear the NEWS?"  
  
"I believe everyone has, Hannah," said Elizabeth through gritted teeth, "Congratulations."  
  
"I mean, it was so SUDDEN, everyone thought YOU were going to marry the Commodore, didn't they?" continued Hannah, "But it doesn't matter, it seems you're also getting married." Her eyes flicked onto Will. "I hope your future husband knows that you have a man in your bedroom this early in the morning."  
  
"This IS my future husband," said Elizabeth. Will recognized the face she was making - she wore it every time she wished she could throw decorum to the winds and kill someone.  
  
"Hello there," said Hannah, nodding at Will, "You know, you're a spitting image of the blacksmith's apprentice?"  
  
"Well, it's funny you should say that-"  
  
"He is actually the blacksmith's apprentice," said Elizabeth.  
  
"I'm a PIRATE," protested Will.  
  
Hannah's eyes widened. "Oh REALLY?" she said, "Well, that's interesting. Have you bought a ring yet? The Commodore has given me one with a diamond on it the size of a pea."  
  
"Yes, well, Will's going to get me one with a pink diamond," said Elizabeth hastily, "THE pink diamond."  
  
"THE pink diamond?" said Hannah, sounding disbelieving, "There's only supposed to be one."  
  
"That's the one he's going to get," said Elizabeth, elbowing Will in the ribs to stop him saying anything.  
  
"The one that's said to be on an island in the middle of the Caribbean, guarded by cursed pirates?"  
  
"That's the one," said Elizabeth, staring at Will, "ISN'T IT WILL???"  
  
"What?" said Will, "I am?" Elizabeth glared. "Yes, I am! Apparently!" he said, trying to smile, when he was thinking 'Just how many cursed pirates has this ocean got?'  
  
"And you really expect he'll find it?"  
  
"I'll have you know that Will helped the capture of the Black Pearl," said Elizabeth.  
  
"REALLY?" said Hannah, "That's FASCINATING." Her voice said the exact opposite. "Well, when he gets you this pink diamond, make sure you show me, all right? Sorry, must go, I am having lunch with the Commodore."  
  
Will opened his mouth to ask why she needed to leave to go to lunch when it was only 8am, but thought better of it when he looked at Elizabeth's face. Hannah swept out of the room, and he turned on Elizabeth.  
  
"MORE CURSED PIRATES?????" he cried, "Why? Why? Why did you have to choose a gem which was guarded by more bloody cursed pirates?"  
  
"Because all the best ones are," said Elizabeth, "Come on, Will, please do this. For me. As a wedding gift."  
  
"You're not just saying that to get me to do it, are you?" said Will.  
  
"What makes you think I would do a thing like that?"  
  
"Well, the fact you did it to Norrington, then said you liked me instead."  
  
"That was DIFFERENT," said Elizabeth.  
  
"How?"  
  
"Well, um... that was a different set of cursed pirates. And you KNOW these are cursed."  
  
"Fine," sighed Will, "So how are we going to find this pink diamond?"  
  
"Ask Jack, of course."  
  
"Jack?" said Will, again shocked, "We don't need him! You don't think I can't take on yet more cursed pirates without Jack Sparrow?"  
  
"Truthfully?" said Elizabeth, "No."  
  
It was Will's turn to glare. "Oh, come on Will, he only sailed off in the Black Pearl yesterday, we can still catch him, he's probably heading for Tortuga." Will still wasn't happy. It took much talking, which I can't be bothered to go into now because I can't write persuasive dialogue, for him to agree, so we return to find Will and Elizabeth heading down to the docks to try and find a ship.  
  
"Commodore!" called Elizabeth, "We couldn't borrow the Dauntless, could we?"  
  
"I'm surprised you're bothering to ask," he said, "Last time you just stole it."  
  
"Commandeered it," corrected Will.  
  
"Please?" said Elizabeth, blinking in what she thought was an appealing way. Will fought back laughter.  
  
"No," said the Commodore, "But I can sell you this small boat. Only ten shillings."  
  
Will looked at it. They may as well sail in a sieve, except this boat seemed to be marginally smaller.  
  
"THAT?!" said Elizabeth, "We'd only get halfway to Tortuga before it sank!"  
  
"Fine, five shillings," said the Commodore, "But it's a real bargain."  
  
"Oh, come on, Commodoooooore," whined Elizabeth, "We'll bring it baaaack..."  
  
"Really? You do surprise me. You certainly returned the Interceptor in perfect condition."  
  
"That was DIFFERENT!!!" protested Elizabeth, "That wasn't our fault. It was the cursed pirates, you know what they're like with blowing things up."  
  
"And who are you gallivanting after this time?"  
  
"Uh.... Jack Sparrow?"  
  
"It's more cursed pirates, isn't it?"  
  
"Well... they're not AS cursed..."  
  
"No."  
  
Elizabeth fixed him with a glare, and pulled out a pistol. "You give us the Dauntless or-"  
  
"Or what?"  
  
Elizabeth got a strange look on her face and whispered something in the Commodore's ear. He went pale.  
  
"You wouldn't."  
  
"Oh, I really would."  
  
The Commodore looked from Elizabeth to Will. "Fine, we'll take you as far as Tortuga," he said reluctantly, "But expect no help after that."  
  
"We won't," said Elizabeth. She grabbed Will's hand and dragged him towards the Dauntless. Will looked at her in amazement.  
  
"What did you threaten that poor man with?"  
  
"Oh, I just told him I'd steal all his wigs and dye them pink," she said, "He has a thing about his wigs." 


	2. Tortuga

Whoa... 12 reviews since Thursday? That's a LOT!! Thanks everyone! Here's the next chapter! And there's a chance to be in the story at the end!  
  
Chapter 2 - Tortuga  
  
"We're devils and black sheep, we're really bad eggs, drink up me 'earties, yo ho!" sang Elizabeth happily as they sailed towards Tortuga. "Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!"  
  
"Something's cheered you up," said Will, "It wouldn't be seeing JACK again, would it?"  
  
"No," said Elizabeth innocently, "I just like that song."  
  
"Jack likes it too," said Will.  
  
"I've always liked it!" protested Elizabeth, "Ever since I was little!"  
  
"Is that why you took my medallion?" said Will.  
  
"Oh great, you have to drag that into EVERYTHING, don't you?" said Elizabeth huffily, and stomped down into the lower decks of the ship. Several sailors watched her go.  
  
"Happy newlyweds?" said the Commodore ironically.  
  
"We're not actually married yet," said Will.  
  
"Yes, I expect some of my crew are thinking that way too," said the Commodore, smirking slightly, then returning to doing something that looked important but probably had no use whatsoever. Will continued glaring at the ocean, and it took several minutes for it to click what he had said. Then he gasped loudly, started to run below, tripped, and - you guessed it - somersaulted out of habit, and sailed over the side.  
  
"Hey!" called Will, as the ship showed no sign of stopping, "HEY!"  
  
Elizabeth stuck her head out of a cannon hole. "What are you doing down there?"  
  
"What does it look like?"  
  
"Getting wet."  
  
"Ha ha. Tell them to stop the ship!"  
  
"Whatever," said Elizabeth, then turned round. "Hey, Tom? Edward? Daniel? Yeah, my boyfriend's fallen overboard..."  
  
"Why are Tom, Edward and Daniel there?" said Will, not missing a beat. Elizabeth rolled her eyes.  
  
"You are so completely untrusting! They're working, duh. I was just talking to them."  
  
"Hmph," said Will, but obligingly grabbed onto the rope that he was thrown. As he was dragged on board - with considerably less style than Jack Sparrow - he continued to question Elizabeth.  
  
"So in all the time we've been together, you've never even LOOKED at another man?"  
  
"Will, we've been together for ONE DAY!" said Elizabeth, "And even I have to look at my father sometimes..."  
  
"Wedded bliss, eh, Will?" said the Commodore, punching Will on the shoulder.  
  
"Ha ha," said Will. He and Elizabeth had a quick 'reconciliation' kiss at the front of the ship, and they watched Tortuga coming nearer. Will was wondering whether he would ever fully trust Elizabeth, when she was so much more beautiful than him and would be popular amongst men.  
  
Elizabeth was pretty much wondering the same thing.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Tortuga," said the Commodore, "This is your stop, end of the line. No more help."  
  
"That was the deal," said Elizabeth, "Unless of course you want us to come back and tell everyone how your ex-fiancée and a blacksmith-"  
  
"A PIRATE!!!!"  
  
"- a piratey blacksmith defeated yet more cursed pirates, while you went home."  
  
"I wouldn't care less," said the Commodore, "Bye."  
  
"Wow," said Elizabeth as the ship sailed away, "That usually works."  
  
"Way to go, Lizzy," said Will.  
  
They looked around Tortuga. It had changed very little on their absence (probably since they'd only been gone one day, but whatever) - if anything, it had become yet grimier. It was amazing just how little the drunks they'd seen last time had moved. Will saw several girls look up and glare at him, so he quickly steered Elizabeth into the nearest dress shop. This backfired slightly, as he was forced to buy her the most expensive one in the shop. As they emerged, Elizabeth smiling happily at her ability to extort money from her boyfriend, Will asked,  
  
"So where do you think Jack is?"  
  
"Where do you think?" said Elizabeth, "Wherever sells the cheapest rum. Can you get me that necklace?"  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
"Well, firstly, you love me, secondly, it would go perfectly with the dress, and thirdly, do you know those girls over there?"  
  
Will looked up. The girls were still glaring at him and muttering to each other, and Will could catch the words 'Bastard' and 'Two-timer'. "Which one?" he asked quickly.  
  
They went in and started to look at the necklaces. Elizabeth was just considering whether she could get a bracelet and earrings as well if she asked where he'd gone on that night in Tortuga, when a man walked into the shop, swaying slightly. He walked straight up to the counter.  
  
"I'll have that one," he said, pointing to the biggest one in the display box.  
  
"Do you have any money?"  
  
"No," said the man, "But I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. Savvy?" The man behind the counter looked perplexed. Jack rolled his eyes.  
  
"Hey!" called Will, "Jack!"  
  
Jack turned round, pulling out his sword as he did. "Oh, hey, Will," he said, "See you ditched the hat. Good move. So what you doing here? The Elizabeth thing not work out? Well, several of the girls here have been asking about you-"  
  
"Asking what?" said Elizabeth quickly.  
  
"Well, from what I hear, Will's definitely not a eunuch, if you know what I mean-"  
  
"Wasn't it this one you wanted?" said Will loudly, "And how about we get you some nice earrings to match, then?"  
  
"Sounds good," said Elizabeth happily. Will quickly paid for everything before she could extract more money from him, and made a mental note to hit Jack at the nearest available opportunity. They then left the shop into the streets of Tortuga, where Elizabeth felt that she was in danger of contracting the bubonic plague just by breathing.  
  
"So what are you doing here?" asked Will.  
  
"Well, you know the phrase 'A girl in every port'?"  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"Well, I'm aiming for 'Every girl in one port', if you know what I mean..."  
  
"Jack?" said Elizabeth, "Barbossa's monkey would know what you meant."  
  
"So why were you robbing a shop, then?"  
  
"I ran out of money," shrugged Jack, "And needed more rum. Speaking of which, who's up for a drink?"  
  
"Oooh, I am!" said Elizabeth, "I got a real taste for rum on that island. That was fun there, wasn't it?"  
  
"It was," said Jack, "It's not many girls who get to live out the 'Marooned on a desert island with the guy of your dreams' wish, is it?"  
  
Elizabeth started nodding, but then stopped at Will's glare. "What?" said Jack, "She wasn't engaged then."  
  
Will continued to glare at Jack. Maybe hitting wasn't enough. They walked into the pub, one of many in Tortuga, and made their way to the back of the room, where the crew of the Black Pearl was sitting. Their heads went up when Will and Elizabeth came and sat down next to them.  
  
"Hey, Will!" said Mr Gibbs, "Giselle told me to say hi. And Scarlet. And Betsy. And Maria-"  
  
"Hey, Mr Gibbs, can I get you another drink?" said Will hastily, glancing at Elizabeth, who didn't seem to care and was knocking back a bottle of rum, and was already deep in discussion with Anamaria.  
  
"So, what brings you to Port Royale?" asked Jack.  
  
"Well, we want to go after the pink diamond," said Will. The crew blinked as one.  
  
"Not THE pink diamond?" said Mr Gibbs, "The Big Pink Pretty albeit Cursed Diamond?"  
  
"Yes, actually," said Will.  
  
"Why would you want to do that?" said Jack, "You can get imitation ones here in Tortuga that aren't guarded by yet more cursed pirates."  
  
"Well, Elizabeth wants the original one."  
  
"Ah, always for a girl, isn't it Will?"  
  
"That doesn't matter. I was here to call in a favour."  
  
"What for?"  
  
"Well, as I saved your life when you were being hanged, I think you may owe me."  
  
"Well, I'm not the sort of pirate who deliberately goes looking for cursed pirates to defeat."  
  
"Hey, isn't there a rum port on the way to the island?" asked Elizabeth. Jack's eyes widened.  
  
"But a man can change. So, you want the Black Pearl to sail to the island, get the pink diamond, and make your bonny lass happy?"  
  
"Wait a minute," said Mr Gibbs, "There's a merchant convoy due in Tortuga in a few days. I thought we would go and intercept them."  
  
"Huh," said Jack.  
  
"I know," said Will, "How about only Jack comes, and we buy another boat, and find a new crew?"  
  
"Sounds good," said Jack, "I'll start putting up posters."  
  
"All men are PIGS," slurred Elizabeth to Anamaria, "I mean, I break up with the Commodore, and less than 24 hours later, he's with that HANNAH. And I'm stuck with a BLACKSMITH who's PRETTIER than me."  
  
"Luckily the blacksmith isn't within earshot," said Will pointedly. Elizabeth swivelled round.  
  
"Oh, hello Will," she said, "Where did you come from? Do you want some rum? It's really good..."  
  
"Come on," said Will, pulling her to her feet, "We need to find a new crew."  
  
"That sounds good," murmured Elizabeth, "Drink up me hearties, YO HO!!!!!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
Do you want to be on Jack Sparrow's new crew, and help search for the Big Pink Pretty albeit Cursed Diamond? Fill in the following form and send it to me at hobbit_eyes@kittymail.com.  
  
Name:  
  
Age:  
  
Favourite bit in PotC:  
  
Any special skills you may have:  
  
How do you feel about -  
  
Jack?:  
  
Will?:  
  
Elizabeth?:  
  
How you would describe yourself in one sentence?:  
  
Reason for wanting to join the crew of the Black Pearl?:  
  
Next chapter will be up next week, and I can only take a limited number of people, so it's first come first serve! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and I'm away laughing on a fast camel! 


	3. The new slightly bonkers crew

Wow, lots of response for crewmembers! Don't worry if you didn't apply, I'll be looking for more people later, so still send me the application form. I know this is really long, but I tried to give person an individual bit. Enjoy!  
  
Chapter 3 - The new slightly bonkers crew  
  
The following evening, Jack, Will and Elizabeth settled down in the pub to wait for applicants. Elizabeth stared longingly at the rum, but Will shook his head. Jack however shamelessly ordered three tankards, then drank them all himself in five minutes.  
  
Suddenly the door opened, and one girl entered, looking about excitedly. She looked so hyper Jack immediately assumed that she was a kindred spirit, and called over, "Can I get you a rum?"  
  
"I'm OK," said the girl, coming over and then spotting Will, "Heeheehee." Will raised his eyebrows at Jack.  
  
"Just what did you put on the poster?" he asked. Jack seemed to become very interested in the bottom of his rum tankard. "JACK?"  
  
"Nothing that I haven't heard from those girls," said Jack. Will looked horrified. "That was supposed to be a good thing..."  
  
"So what's your name?" asked Elizabeth, making a mental note to get some perfume from Will before the evening was over.  
  
"Frankie," said the girl, still in a state of excitement, "And I want to be a PIRATE!"  
  
"Well, you've come to the right place," said Jack, "Are you sure I can't get you some rum?"  
  
"No, I'm fine."  
  
"How much have you already had this evening?"  
  
"None." Jack looked shocked.  
  
Another girl came through the doors, giggling at something another pirate was saying. She then spotted Jack Sparrow, ditched that pirate and came over.  
  
"Name?" said Elizabeth. The girl looked around.  
  
"I WANT RUM!!!!" she shouted. Everyone, again, was shocked. Jack got over it quickly, and grabbed a tankard from someone else's table.  
  
"She's only about seventeen!" hissed Elizabeth angrily as the girl started drinking from the tankard like there wasn't second to lose.  
  
Jack looked patronising. "I've been drinking rum since I was about eight, and there's nothing wrong with ME, is there?"  
  
"That's a matter of opinion," said Will, as Frankie made him move over so that there was room for her on his seat.  
  
"Name?" asked Elizabeth again.  
  
"Becky," said the girl, slamming the empty rum tankard down on the table.  
  
"Reason for wanting to go on this ship?"  
  
"Would you like the truth you want to hear or the truth you don't?"  
  
"Uh, the truth we don't."  
  
"I want to become Mrs. Jack Sparrow," said Becky, winking at Jack, who actually looked slightly worried. Even the prostitutes weren't this forward. "MORE RUM!!!"  
  
"What sort of applicants are we getting?" whispered Will to Elizabeth worriedly as Frankie started laughing at nothing at all. Another girl entered and sat down.  
  
"Name?"  
  
"Kathryn."  
  
"Reason for wanting to join the Black Pearl?" said Elizabeth, scarcely daring to ask.  
  
"Because pirates are cool!!" said Kathryn, starting to laugh, "Arrrr! Hi Will..."  
  
Will waved nervously. "Just how well known ARE you in Tortuga?" hissed Elizabeth like an angry goose. Before Will could defend himself, another girl came in.  
  
"I'm Catarina," she said, "Savvy? And I want to be a pirate!"  
  
"Fine," said Jack. Catarina looked at him.  
  
"Hey gorgeous," she said, and sat down next to him. Jack blinked. He ought to hold auditions for crewmembers more often.  
  
Yet another girl came in. "Are we going to get any male applicants at ALL?" said Will exasperatedly.  
  
"Apparently not," said Elizabeth disappointedly.  
  
"Name?" said Jack.  
  
"Jackie," said the girl.  
  
"Oh, neat!" said Jack, "What? I'm Jack... and she's Jackie... hahahaha... You should really drink more rum, Will, it makes everything so funny. Means you would smile once in a while..."  
  
"Which would be good!" said Frankie, Becky, Kathryn and Cat.  
  
"He's so DREAMY when he smiles..." sighed Kathryn.  
  
"He's dreamy ALL the time," pointed out Frankie. While those four sighed, Jackie noticed Will looking worried.  
  
"Don't worry," she said, "I'd never want to go beyond the friend level."  
  
Elizabeth quickly chose her current favourite member of the crew.  
  
Another girl came in. "I'm Cirfia," she said, "And you may want to employ me for my talent at making little fairies from beads."  
  
"That's always useful," said Elizabeth, "Welcome aboard!"  
  
"Can I have some of your beads?" said Cirfia, turning to Jack, "I'm sure you don't need quite so many in your hair."  
  
Before Jack could answer, another girl burst through the doors. She looked older than the rest of them, which drew many, MANY evil glares from them, and walked over.  
  
"Name?"  
  
"Brandi," she said. Jack immediately looked up at the mention of alcohol.  
  
"As in the beverage?"  
  
"Yeah," she said.  
  
"Hmmm... are you of legal drinking age?"  
  
"By English drinking laws!" she said happily, "This is part of the British Empire, right?"  
  
"I think so," said Elizabeth.  
  
"So she can have rum!" said Jack.  
  
"So can I!" protested Catarina and Jackie, "By English drinking laws."  
  
"Brilliant," said Jack, "Drinks all round!"  
  
"Why do you want to join the crew of the Black Pearl?" asked Will.  
  
"Because I'm an adrenaline junkie. I mean, near death experiences, swinging around on ropes, AND I get to see you and Jack all the time? Sounds ACE!" said Brandi, "Oooh, thanks, Jack. And I want to kick cursed pirate ass!"  
  
"How did you know we were going after cursed pirates?" asked Will.  
  
"I didn't," shrugged Brandi, "It just seems useful in the Caribbean."  
  
"Most definitely," said Jack, passing round tankards of rum, even to Cirfia and Frankie, who were the youngest there. Another girl came in, causing Elizabeth to look highly disappointed that there weren't more dashing young men. Jack, however, looked thrilled.  
  
"Name?"  
  
"Yilantri."  
  
"Reason for wanting to be on the crew?"  
  
"Well, I grew up next to the ocean, I'm bored, and you are HOT," she said, looking at Jack.  
  
"What about Will?" said Elizabeth through gritted teeth.  
  
"Too many hero clichés," she said, and shuddered. Will looked shocked.  
  
"But I AM a hero-"  
  
"You're a blacksmith!" said Elizabeth exasperatedly.  
  
"I'm a PIRATE!"  
  
"Hi, um, is this the place for the signing-up to the Black Pearl?" asked another girl.  
  
"Name?"  
  
"Mako."  
  
"Weird name," whispered Elizabeth. A little too loudly. "OW!" she cried as a spoon hit her head.  
  
"Where did that come from?" asked Will. Mako shrugged.  
  
"Anyway. reason for wanting to join the Black Pearl?"  
  
"I have a taste for adventure," she said, "And I want to be near my dear Leggy."  
  
"Who?" said Will.  
  
"You," said Mako. Elizabeth glared at Will. "I love you." Will blinked. Another two girls came running in.  
  
"Sorry we're late - oooh, is that rum?" said one of them.  
  
"Is that Frankie?" asked the other, "FRANKIE!!"  
  
"Alex! Gemma!" squealed Frankie, "Budge up Will, make room for them as well!"  
  
"Uh, I don't think there's room-"  
  
"Well, we'll just have to sit on your lap then, OK hon?" said Alex, plonking herself down, followed by Gemma and Frankie, earning many glares from the others.  
  
"Um..." said Elizabeth, feeling slightly like a tidal wave had washed over her, "So, I'm guessing you want to join the crew as well?"  
  
"Yes," said Gemma.  
  
"Any special talents?"  
  
"I can sing as well as Will is rumoured," said Alex, "Without being a-"  
  
"I'm NOT!!!" said Will.  
  
"What about Gemma?" said Elizabeth.  
  
"Not much," said Gemma.  
  
"Pffft," said Frankie, "She's good at nearly EVERYTHING."  
  
"Can she make bead fairies?" demanded Cirfia. Gemma looked slightly worried.  
  
"Well, I've never tried-"  
  
"There you go," said Cirfia.  
  
"Another bonus with Gemma is that she likes neither Jack nor Will," said Frankie.  
  
"Unlike me," said Alex, grinning evilly at Will, who was watching Gemma with the look in his eyes of a man who sees a lifejacket on a sinking boat.  
  
"So all of you are prepared to do whatever it takes on this ship?" said Jack.  
  
"Yes!" chorused all the girls.  
  
"How far are you prepared to go for the Black Pearl?"  
  
"We'd die for it!" said the girls, eyes fixed on Will and Jack.  
  
"Hey, wait," said Yilantri, looking slightly worried, "Don't you remember what happened when Will said-"  
  
"First we need to find a ship," interrupted Will.  
  
"When Will said what?" said Elizabeth, expecting more hitting-Tortuga-with- a-caveful-of-treasure shenanigans.  
  
"When he said he'd die for you," said Becky.  
  
"Awwww!!!" said Elizabeth, "Will, you never told me!"  
  
"You were too busy being suspicious," said Will, capturing the innocent puppy look very well.  
  
"By the way," said Brandi, "I'm always available, and I don't demand big pink pretty albeit cursed diamonds either."  
  
"I can type really fast!" said Kathryn.  
  
"I can duel!" said Catarina.  
  
"I can be charming, annoying, mysterious, intimidating, whatever, and still maintain the 'innocent girl' look!" said Jackie.  
  
"I can touch my NOSE with my TONGUE," said Becky proudly.  
  
"I can make bead fairies!" said Cirfia.  
  
"I can sing!" said Alex.  
  
"I'm sarcastic and can play the flute!" said Yilantri.  
  
"I can cook!" said Mako, "And throw spoons with scarily good aim!" Elizabeth edged away from her.  
  
"I can stay up all night, sleep for two hours and then go shopping the next day!" said Frankie, "And I make a GREAT cup of tea."  
  
"Oooh," said Elizabeth, impressed. Frankie glared.  
  
"Don't think I'll be making one for you," said Frankie, "YOU STOLE WILL!!!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"He's meant for ME! He just hasn't REALISED it yet!"  
  
"MORE RUM!" said Jack, while Elizabeth pushed her chair away from Frankie, looking slightly worried. "It doesn't matter what each of you can do, we'll be giving you duelling lessons on the boat anyway, for when we come up against the pirates-"  
  
Elizabeth's eyes widened.  
  
"Uh - IF we come up against the pirates," said Jack, "That's what I meant, of course. Come on, we need to find a boat!" 


	4. A new boat

So, in this next thrilling installment, the crew are off to get a boat! Well, commandeer one... Enjoy!  
  
Chapter 4 - A new boat  
  
Jack drained one more tankard of rum and led the way down to the docks, stopping only to kit all the girls out in some pirate gear, which they all found very exciting, Becky quickly making her clothes as revealing as possible. They then reached the dock.  
  
"So, everyone chip in to buy a boat," said Will, holding out a hand.  
  
"What?" said Jackie, "We don't have money."  
  
"The poster said all expenses paid," pointed out Kathryn. Will glared at Jack, who rolled his eyes.  
  
"Look, Will, you still have a lot to learn about being a pirate. We don't buy boats. We don't steal them either. We COMMANDEER them. Savvy?"  
  
"We savvy!" chorused the girls. Jack looked round at them.  
  
"Wow, ought to try teenage girl crews more often," he said. Elizabeth glared at Will, daring him to look at any of the girls, especially Mako, who wasn't looking away from him.  
  
"So how are we going to commandeer one?" asked Brandi excitedly.  
  
"Well, I find the most effective way is disguise and flirting," said Jack.  
  
"From personal experience?" said Gemma, raising an eyebrow. Jack ignored the comment, but turned slightly red.  
  
"Now," he said, "There's seven sailors guarding that ship. You oldest girls- " he said, turning to Brandi, Jackie, Becky, Mako and Catarina, "Put on some of Elizabeth's dresses." Those five girls grabbed onto the nicest of Elizabeth's dresses, getting more glares from her, and raced into the nearest pub to get changed. Jack then looked at the rest of them.  
  
"Now," he said, "The rest of you are a bit too young to go seducing sailors- "  
  
"But I was in 'Sweet Charity'!" protested Frankie, "I can be slutty!"  
  
"Fine, fine, go get changed too," said Jack, and Frankie raced off happily. "But we have to get someone else to seduce that last sailor... the next prettiest..."  
  
Elizabeth cleared her throat.  
  
"... Will, go put one of the dresses on."  
  
"What?" said Will.  
  
"WHAT?" said Elizabeth.  
  
"Come on Will," said Jack, shoving a dress into his arms, "I'm doing this for you. You're prepared to die for your girlfriend, but not prepared to wear a dress?"  
  
Will opened his mouth, but seeing Elizabeth glaring at both of them, slunk off to get changed, the other girls gazing after him longingly. "Now," said Jack, "The rest of you. Here are some swords - while the others are seducing, you sneak onto the boat, and stand by the wheel."  
  
"What about you?" asked Alex.  
  
"I've got to make an entrance!" said Jack, "You can't commandeer a ship without making an entrance!" The girls looked at each other and shrugged. Gemma was eyeing Alex nervously - her mad friend on her own was one thing, but armed... Kathryn was grinning and waving her sword through the air saying "Arrr!" and Cirfia, well, she was making more bead fairies.  
  
Yilantri pulled out her sword and waved it in front of Jack's face. "Come on!" she said, "If you think you're tough enough!"  
  
"I most certainly do," said Jack, pulling out his own sword. The blade fell off the hilt. "Whoops."  
  
"I win!" said Yilantri happily.  
  
"Brilliant pirate," said Jack, shaking her hand. Yilantri beamed. The others glared.  
  
Finally the girls emerged, followed by a red looking Will.  
  
"Oooh, Will, that dress does wonders for your bone structure," said Kathryn. Elizabeth, again, glared. Mako was fluttering her fan, still looking pointedly at Will.  
  
"OK, off you go," said Jack. The girls set off, Frankie leading the way, as she had seducing experience. Will shuffled along at the back.  
  
"Swing your hips more, Will!" hissed Catarina, who, blushing furiously, obeyed. The sailors' eyebrows went up as they saw the six girls and the 'girl' approaching.  
  
"Hey there," said Frankie.  
  
"How's it going?" said Brandi.  
  
"That's a big boat," said Becky.  
  
"Got a girl in this port yet?" said Catarina.  
  
"Is life on the ocean wave all you want?" said Jackie.  
  
"Love a man in uniform," said Mako.  
  
Will remained silent, muttering curses to Jack under his breath.  
  
Meanwhile Gemma, Alex, Cirfia, Kathryn and Yilantri climbed up the side of the boat - Elizabeth was sulking on the quayside. They ran up onto the main deck and stood either side of the wheel. The sailors didn't seem to notice; Frankie was now leading them in a performance of 'Hey Big Spender' with all the dance moves.  
  
"That one's a pretty nifty mover," said one sailor, pointing at Will.  
  
"Ar," said the sailor, "She's a fine looking girl."  
  
"Ahem," said Alex. The sailors looked up.  
  
"Um, hi," said Gemma, "We're kind of nicking your ship."  
  
"Commandeering it!" hissed the others.  
  
"Yes, commandeering it," said Becky, and all the other girls drew their swords.  
  
"So off the ship!" said Jackie.  
  
"Aye, avast!" said Will. Yilantri hit her head in exasperation.  
  
"You and whose army?" said one sailor, "How do you, twelve girls, to commandeer this ship?"  
  
"Eleven ladies," said Will, pulling off his dress, causing most of the girls to whoop excitedly, "And one man!"  
  
"Which one's the man?" said one sailor. If looks could kill, well, he'd be very very very very very dead.  
  
"Why did you have to wear pants, Will?" said Cirfia disappointedly.  
  
"We plan to commandeer this ship," said Brandi, waving her sword very threateningly in front of his face, "With a talent only women have."  
  
"Which is?"  
  
"Multi-tasking!" Before the sailors could say anything, they all mounted their attack. While attempting to sword fight, they also did their personal attacks. Frankie, Kathryn and Mako did their own brand of kung-fu, learnt by watching the Matrix over and over again; Catarina fought with two swords at once; Jackie confused them by using her innocent face while fighting; Cirfia started throwing bead fairies at them; Brandi was beatboxing; and Yilantri was hurling sarcasm at them ("Oh yes, that's BRILLIANT fighting! You could beat a girl hands down!").  
  
Suddenly Jack's voice rang out. "Gentlemen, we are commandeering this boat!" he called.  
  
"We're already being commandeered!" called back a sailor, "Why does everyone seem to think they can just steal ships nowadays?"  
  
"COMMANDEER!" protested all the girls.  
  
"Because, I am Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy?" called Jack. The girls finally spotted him. He was at the top of a flagpole that was right next to the ship, with a rope tied round his ankles.  
  
"Oh, he isn't," said Cirfia.  
  
"He is," said Brandi admiringly.  
  
"Be careful!" called Becky, Frankie, Alex, Catarina and Yilantri worriedly.  
  
"Don't worry, girls," he said, "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow!" Then he jumped. He sailed downwards, plummeting towards the deck of the ship. Some of the girls looked scared, several were muttering "He's Captain Jack Sparrow, he's Captain Jack Sparrow, he's Captain Jack Sparrow-" He fell just down low enough to brush the deck, which would have been a great entrance, but then he sprung back up into the air.  
  
"There's something not quite right about this rope!" said Jack, looking confused, as he catapulted back into the air. The sailors, the girls and Will watched him soar back upwards. Then downwards. Then upwards. Then downwards. On this fall, the girls grabbed onto his arms as he reached the deck again, and Will cut the rope quickly.  
  
"Thank you, ladies," said Jack, getting to his feet a little unsteadily, looking slightly dizzy - actually, just looking like he normally looked - and pulled out a sword. "Yes, we are commandeering this vessel, so off the boat!"  
  
"Wait a minute-" said one of the sailors.  
  
"OFF!!!!!!" screamed Frankie, brandishing her sword. The sailors threw themselves off the sides. Frankie turned to Jack and Will for their approval.  
  
"Very good, Frankie," said Jack, "I did, however, have the situation perfectly under control..."  
  
"Where's Elizabeth?" said Gemma.  
  
"She's still on the dock," said Will, racing off to get her. Most of the girls groaned.  
  
"Why did you have to remind him?" asked Mako. Will returned with Elizabeth. Will was frowning, and Elizabeth was talking rapidly.  
  
"Look, Will, I was just talking to those sailors, but when I saw the boat was captured, I got up to come aboard, when suddenly I came over all faint, and I just fell over, and that sailor had caught me, that's all-"  
  
"Of course," said Will, not looking at her.  
  
"And we're back in the game," cackled Mako evilly.  
  
* * * * *  
  
And so, the callouts begin...  
  
Cirfia - Yup, you're in it! Sorry you're one of the youngest. I don't know whether you're THE youngest. Frankie and another character entering soon are also fourteen, but the later character is going to made slightly older... Don't worry, it's not going to be made a big deal of. And yes, your teacher does sound terrifying.  
  
Nurvilyawen of Imladris - Yes. You're in it. Observant, aren't you? I'm writing more, you know that! Hello, I saw you YESTERDAY!  
  
Mako - There'll be more pelting with spoons. Much, much more. And you'll get to talk to Leggy along at some point, I promise. Not promising anything else, though...  
  
Im a Brandybuck - There'll be much more of you! I've thought of something to happen soon, and it'll be v v exciting! Haha, drink up me hearties, yo ho!  
  
Cat Youkai - Sorry that you don't have the Black Pearl. Couldn't figure out how else to have everyone commandeering a ship.  
  
Reasonably Crazy - There will be a change next chapter... watch this space!  
  
Lucki Me - Yup, you're the oldest. Course Jack doesn't mind as much, you saw those girls in Tortuga - you really think he'll mind having several girls around him thinking he's the niftiest thing since sliced bread? What was the niftiest thing before sliced bread? Unsliced bread? 


	5. The Voyage Begins

Sorry this chapter has taken so long! And that it's shorter than the others! *ducks as she is attacked by various people* I SAID SORRY!!!  
  
Chapter 5 - The voyage begins  
  
The ship sailed out of Tortuga, out onto the wide ocean. This was a moving moment, which all the girls felt shouldn't go unmarked. Jack celebrated it by chugging five rums at once, but as Will said, he did that most of the time anyway. Jackie celebrated in her own way.  
  
"A pirate's life is a wonderful life, full of adventure and sport!" she sang, dancing around the mast with Jack, "We live every minute for all that's in it, a pirate's life is short! O, a pirate's life is short!"  
  
"That's not a pirate song," said Jack, "We're devils and black sheep, we're really bad eggs, drink up me 'earties, yo ho!"  
  
"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!" chorused the rest of the girls.  
  
"I didn't even have to teach them!" said Jack proudly, drinking another rum in celebration.  
  
"I still prefer mine," said Jackie, "A pirate's life is a wonderful life, we're sailin' over the sea! Gimme a career as a buccaneer, the life of a pirate's for me, O, the life of a pirate's for me!"  
  
"Look, a boy, there's a boy in the water!" called Elizabeth from the front of the ship, looking ecstatic.  
  
"She's good at that, isn't she?" said Cirfia to Will, "Do you want a bead fairy?"  
  
Jack rushed to the side of the boat, closely followed by his crew of girls. There was indeed a boy floating in the water, very much like Will at the beginning of the film.  
  
"We've got to get him out of there!" said Catarina. She and Kathryn leapt into the water. Jack and Will, not wanting to be outdone, followed. The rest of the girls followed, not turning down a chance for a dip in the sea with Jack and Will, especially since Will was wearing a white shirt. Together they managed to get him back on board the ship. Gemma, who knew quite a bit about first aid, checked his pulse etc. When he came round and saw himself surrounded by eleven girls he nearly passed out again.  
  
"Are you OK?" said Yilantri.  
  
"Uh, yeah," said the boy.  
  
"Who are you?" asked Alex.  
  
"Tanuki," said the boy, "My ship sank, we were attacked by pirates."  
  
"Not cursed pirates?" said Will hopefully.  
  
"Well, they were pretty evil, with black sails..."  
  
"Oh-many-evil-profanities-too-coarse-for-young-ears," said Becky.  
  
"What's wrong with that?" said Brandi, "We get to kick cursed pirate ass! That's brilliant!"  
  
"Well, some of us don't know how to fight yet," said Mako, "With swords anyway. No-one can beat my kung-fu..."  
  
"I beg to differ," said Frankie.  
  
"We'd better teach them how to sword fight," said Will, "Has everyone still got their swords?"  
  
"Like we'd cast away a gift from you?" said Kathryn. All the girls pulled out the swords at once. Tanuki looked slightly worried, until he was also given a sword. Jack and Will both drew their swords, and Elizabeth backed away to a safe distance.  
  
"Watch and learn," said Jack.  
  
"You're going down," said Will, glaring. Frankie, Cirfia, Kathryn and Mako sighed happily.  
  
They started sword fighting, so brilliantly that the soundtrack started up. I suck at describing fights, so I'll leave it to your imagination how brilliant a sword fight on board a ship could look. It involved jumping onto rigging, balancing along rails, and swinging on ropes. All the girls were jumping up and down and squealing by the end. Finally the fight culminated in Jack and Will both falling into the sea, and all the girls jumped in after them for the second time that day. By the time everyone was back on deck, Jack's eyeliner still miraculously unsmudged, the girls were itching to get fighting themselves.  
  
"Now," said Jack, "You can either go against me, Will or Elizabeth-"  
  
"Elizabeth," said Cirfia, Brandi and Mako, turning to glare at her. Elizabeth looked very nervous.  
  
"Uhh, Will, are you sure I have to fight these three?" she said, tugging his arm.  
  
"I'll fight... uh... you, you, you and you," said Jack, pointing at Jackie, Catarina, Kathryn and Alex, "Gemma, Frankie, Yilantri and Becky can fight Will, and since you three asked, you and Tanuki can fight Elizabeth."  
  
"Excellent," smiled Cirfia, Brandi and Mako evilly.  
  
They split into their various groups. First of all Jack showed the girls various sword moves, and then, most importantly, how to cheat ("For sword fighting can become slightly more tricky under the influence of rum," said Jack, "And you may need alternative ways of winning.") Will was showing his girls how to look good while fighting, demonstrating by leaping from deck to rigging to railing, swinging from a rope and finishing with his sword point about an inch from Becky's face. Becky took this as an invitation and kicked Will in the stomach.  
  
Becky would probably have suffered a severe beating from Frankie, Cirfia, Kathryn and Mako right then, but Elizabeth's shrieking alerted them to the fact that most of those girls were right at that second trying to stuff her into one of the cannons.  
  
"Whoa, whoa, GIRLS!" called Jack, looking slightly worried, "Not good! Don't put crewmembers into the cannons!"  
  
"Aw, why?" said Cirfia, "It's fun!"  
  
"Yeah, but Will would hate you," said Jack. The girls all turned white and pulled her out hurriedly, Mako muttering that this was not over.  
  
*****  
  
Cirfia - Sorry, I can't do that. Yet. And you'll get more to do, I promise! And hooray for bead fairies!  
  
Im a Brandybuck - Arrr is your phrase. No-one else gets to say it.  
  
Tanuki Yasha - CAPTAIN JACK ROCKS!!!!  
  
Mako - You always seem to be having the last word! And in the next chapter you get some alone time with Will, I promise!  
  
Reasonably Crazy - Now there's an idea! Thanks!  
  
Yilantri - Uh-oh. I'd been wondering what those pecking noises outside my window last night had been.  
  
Theshiz - OK, you're in! Just not quite yet! You'll be appearing with another girl who applied at the last minute. Next chapter!  
  
Lucki Me - Yep, beatboxing! You're one of Jack's faves cos your name is like alcohol.  
  
I'll be updating as soon as I, um, finish the next chapter. 


	6. Rum Island

Next chapter up, slightly earlier than usual! Well, I updated three of my stories today, so I thought WHY THE HELL NOT? Two new characters in this chapter, hope y'all like it! I'm getting addicted to this story, which means I'm neglecting my other ones. and my homework. *guilt*  
  
Chapter 6 - Rum Island  
  
The next morning Mako woke up early deliberately in order to try and get some alone time with Will. She was successful - Jack was sleeping off his hangover, Elizabeth was getting her beauty sleep, and the other girls and Tanuki were also still asleep after staying up half the night singing shanties. Will, however, was looking out to sea.  
  
"Do you want some breakfast?" she asked, amazed that she was remaining standing, "I can cook, you know!"  
  
"Cook what?" said Will, looking slightly nervous.  
  
"Uhh..." She took a guess. "Bacon?"  
  
"Bacon's good," shrugged Will. Mako sprinted down to the galley, swearing that she would make the best bacon he had ever eaten. Will watched her go, feeling slightly worried. Why did all these girls find him so attractive? He'd never had this problem before. Well, not all of them. Some liked Jack - Gemma and Jackie didn't seem to like either. Tanuki definitely didn't like either.  
  
"Bacon?" came a voice behind him again. Mako had returned, with a plate piled high with bacon. Will took a bit of it. "Good?" said Mako nervously.  
  
"Uh, yeah," said Will, "Very good bacon." Mako smiled happily.  
  
"Did someone say bacon?" said Jack, appearing very quickly, "Nothing like bacon to cure a hangover."  
  
"Bacon?" said the rest of the crew, also appearing. The smell had reached the cabins. Mako sighed disappointedly. So much for time on her own.  
  
"What are we doing today?" asked Cirfia, still making bead fairies.  
  
"We're stopping off at Rum Island," said Jack happily, "The rum capital of the Caribbean!"  
  
"Isn't it also the shopping capital?" said Elizabeth.  
  
"I wouldn't know," said Will, silently saying goodbye to next year's wages.  
  
"But we're not going shopping," said Jack, "We're picking up essential supplies. Like food, weapons-"  
  
"Rum?" said Brandi.  
  
"Well, that's an essential solely from the medical point of view..." said Jack.  
  
"We could also get some news of the cursed pirates," said Yilantri, "What do we know about them except the fact that they're cursed?"  
  
"Uh... nothing," said Jack.  
  
"Except they're guarding the Big Pink Pretty albeit Cursed Diamond?" pointed out Will.  
  
"Yes, that too," said Jack.  
  
*****  
  
As they left the ship onto the quay, they realized the age old problem - they had no money.  
  
"We could use bead fairies!" said Cirfia, holding out a batch she'd just made.  
  
"Ooh, can I have a pink one?" said Elizabeth.  
  
"Screw you!" said Cirfia, glaring. Elizabeth took a step back.  
  
"I know!" said Kathryn, "There's a couple of young debutantes over there." Everyone looked where she was pointing. There were two girls standing on the seafront, wearing lovely dresses and chatting with some of the sailors. "Why don't we go and ask them to sponsor us?"  
  
"Now there's an idea," said Jack, "You girls sort that out, I'm going to go befriend the locals." He headed with amazing speed towards the nearest pub.  
  
"You'd better go too, Will," said Jackie, "Make sure that he gets some info." Will ran after Jack quickly before Elizabeth could ask for more clothes. Catarina turned to the rest.  
  
"Now, you guys-" she said, talking to Cirfia, Tanuki and Frankie, "- are the youngest, and more their age, so you should go and talk to them. Just ask them whether they'd sponsor us on our quest to find the big pink pretty albeit cursed diamond. Mention Jack if they look interested."  
  
"Right," said those three.  
  
"What are we going to do?" said Gemma.  
  
"I vote disposing of Elizabeth," said Mako.  
  
"Seconded," said Brandi.  
  
"Hey - where IS Elizabeth?" said Gemma. They looked around and realized that she was, in fact, nowhere to be seen.  
  
"YES!!!" said Mako.  
  
Meanwhile, Tanuki, Frankie and Cirfia were making their way over to the girls. They looked up and saw them coming.  
  
"Pirates?" whispered one of them.  
  
"Think so," said the other, "Fabby!"  
  
"You like pirates?" said Cirfia.  
  
"Yes," said one, "Of course. Especially Captain Jack Sparrow, by what I've heard of him!"  
  
"He's just as cool as you've heard," said Frankie.  
  
"Really?" said one girl.  
  
"Yes," said Tanuki, "We're on his boat."  
  
"You ARE????" said the girls, looking impressed.  
  
"Yeah, and we're on a quest," said Frankie, "Except we have no money-"  
  
"Well, our dresses our worth quite a bit," said one girl, "We could sell them and give you some money, if we could join your crew..."  
  
"Yeah, sure!" said Cirfia. "I'm Cirfia, by the way, and this is Frankie and Tanuki."  
  
"I'm Diana, and this is Hanna," said Diana, "Are those bead fairies?"  
  
*****  
  
Jack and Will were sitting in the bar, which was slightly less rowdy than the one in Tortuga, and was therefore a restaurant in Jack's mind. They'd gone there to get information, but Jack seemed to be doing most of the talking.  
  
"And then - and then I jumped off the cliff, leaving Will and his bonny Elizabeth!" he finished, draining the last of his rum.  
  
"Did you get together with Anamaria?" asked a man.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well, Will got a girl. If you didn't, does that mean he's better with women than you?"  
  
"Of course," said Will.  
  
"Now wait just a minute," said Jack indignantly, "I could get any girl I wanted. You just got Elizabeth because I helped you win your fair lady's heart."  
  
"No way," said Will, "I got her because I'm dashing!"  
  
"Oh yeah?" said Jack, "You willing to put money on that?"  
  
"Yeah!" said Will, "But, uh - how, exactly?"  
  
"We both go for a girl. See who gets her."  
  
"Which girl, though?"  
  
"It would have to be a crewmember, so that there's no time limit. How about... Alex?"  
  
"No way! She's one of your fangirls! What about Mako?"  
  
"Ditto! One that likes neither of us... How about Gemma?"  
  
"Done!" said Will. They shook hands, just as the door burst open. Alex, Becky, Brandi, Kathryn, Jackie, Catarina, Yilantri and Mako came in - and Gemma.  
  
"Gemma!" they both said excitedly, jumping to their feet. Gemma took a step back, looking alarmed.  
  
"Here, have my seat," offered Will.  
  
"Come, Gemma! Sit on me!" said Jack, slapping his lap. Gemma looked at them both, trying to decide which one was stranger. The other girls glared at her. Finally she took the seat Will had offered, thanking him, albeit nervously. Will shot a triumphant grin at Jack.  
  
"Way to go, Will," said Jack, "Now where are YOU going to sit?"  
  
"I-" Will looked around and saw that, indeed, since all the girls had settled down, there was no room left for him.  
  
"Nya ha," said Jack, smiling.  
  
"You can have my seat!" said Mako immediately, leaping to her feet. Will sat down in it, and Mako settled himself on his lap happily.  
  
"Girls sit on MY lap," said Will smugly, "Not YOURS."  
  
"Well, they probably worried my enchanting musk will befuddle their senses," said Jack.  
  
"What musk?" said Will, "Rum?"  
  
"Oh, and speaking of girls, where's Elizabeth?" said Jack.  
  
"What?" said Will, "Where's Elizabeth?"  
  
The girls shrugged. "Ooh, lost another one, have you?" said Jack.  
  
Suddenly the door opened again, and Cirfia, Frankie, Tanuki, Diana and Hanna came in. Hanna's eyes widened as she caught sight of Will.  
  
"Hi!" said Frankie, "These are Diana and Hanna. They gave us some money in exchange for joining our crew."  
  
"Great!" said Jack, "I think that calls for a little drink in celebration-"  
  
"We need to find Elizabeth!" said Will, leaping to his feet. Most of the girls looked thoroughly put out at Will's obvious desire to find Elizabeth again, but obligingly got to their feet. Both Will and Jack suddenly remembered their bet, and threw themselves towards the door to hold it open for Gemma. In the attempt, they both crashed into Diana and Hanna.  
  
"Hi there," said Hanna weakly as she looked at Will's face, just inches from her own. Guess who glared?  
  
"OH MY GOD, you're Captain Jack Sparrow!" said Diana.  
  
"Well, yes, I was last time I checked," said Jack.  
  
"I am your BIGGEST FAN," said Diana breathlessly.  
  
"Well, that's nice to know," said Jack, "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING, WHELP??" he shouted, hurling himself at Will's ankles as he tried to reach the door.  
  
"DON'T CALL ME A WHELP!!!!" said Will. Gemma stepped over them both and opened the door herself.  
  
"When you're quite done wrestling, are we going to get supplies or what?" she said, still looking slightly worried.  
  
"Hearken to the lady!" said Will, leaping to his feet, "For she has a fine mind."  
  
"And she's a fine lady," said Jack, throwing his arm round her shoulders.  
  
"We have another rival," whispered Mako.  
  
"Arrrr," said Kathryn.  
  
*****  
  
Reasonably Crazy - Thanks! I just had double Biology, so I'm not feeling very random or hyper.  
  
WOB-WOBS: Heaven forbid!  
  
I KNOW!!! Next wombats will take over the world. hey, guess I am feeling pretty random.  
  
Im a Brandybuck - Yup, arrr is your phrase. Well, you were the only one who specifically requested it. So it's only fair!  
  
Tanuki Yasha - Don't want to sound completely stupid, but what's Soul Calibur? You're still the only guy. I NEED MORE GUYS!!! Can't you ask some of your friends if they want to be in it?  
  
Lucki Me - Yeah, what was that thing? It looked like a gilt lamppost or something. Cursed pirates soon! And more swinging from ropes!  
  
Mako - Yup, I saw it pretty much right after reloaded came out! My friend downloaded the preview off the internet! ISN'T AGENT SMITH CREEPY WHEN HE LAUGHS????? Now, what was it you were saying about muffins?  
  
Cat Youkai - I know it was short. Sorry.  
  
Yilantri - Uh-oh. *turns round and sees chicken at the window looking threatening* I'M UPDATING! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! My Wob-Wobs won't fight them off, they're on strike until they get more brownies.  
  
Danielle - OK. Thanks!  
  
Hyper-Elf - You're in it this chapter! And I'm really sorry that you happened to have the same name as the evil person. I just know several evil Hannahs.  
  
Cirfia - I'm plotting. Oh, I'm plotting.  
  
Stargirl - Thanks!  
  
See y'all next week, folks! And, um, don't be too mad at Gemma. 


	7. Departure from Rum Island

Yes, back to more piratey funnies! I really need to go and see Pirates of the Caribbean again, I'm so desperate for pirates that I found myself watching 'Pirate Islands'... It is one of the WORST PROGRAMS you will ever see, but there's a guy in it that looks slightly cool, which was a sort of compensation... Nowhere near as cool as Will, but cool enough to provoke interest...  
  
There seemed to be some confusion after the last chapter. It's Gemma both Jack and Will are after, not Mako. They're different people. A couple of people seemed to be confused on that. Anyway, I'm really sorry, but I'm no longer adding more people, because I now have 18 extra characters and I can't really fit in any more and give you all good parts. Sorry. Anyway, enjoy this chapter!  
  
Chapter 7 - Departure from Rum Island  
  
Will ran ahead of them through the streets, looking for Elizabeth, aided by Tanuki. The others followed at a more leisurely pace.  
  
"So you see, Gemma," he said, throwing his arm round her shoulders again, "Will is so attached to Elizabeth, he could never even look at another woman."  
  
"As opposed to you, who has no morality at all, and will date several women at once and not feel the slightest bit of guilt," said Frankie, one eyebrow raised. Jack glared at her.  
  
Gemma looked at the arm round her shoulders, looking slightly perturbed. "What's that doing there?"  
  
"Nothing," said Jack hastily, withdrawing it. Boy, this girl was tough. "Excellent! A rum stand!"  
  
"That's the fifth one on this street, isn't it?" said Kathryn, as Jack ran over and bought yet another bottle of rum.  
  
"Who cares?" said Alex, Becky, Diana, Brandi, Catarina and Yilantri.  
  
"This place'll be called 'Empty Bottle Island' by the time Jack leaves," said Jackie.  
  
"Speaking of rum, why aren't we having any?" said Brandi, and she and the rest of the older girls followed Jack to the rum stand.  
  
"Gemma, WHAT is going on with you and Jack?" saidYilantri.  
  
"AND Will?" said Hanna.  
  
"I honestly have no idea," said Gemma, looking slightly frightened, "Suddenly they both seem to be acting very strangely."  
  
"They're flirting with you, Gemma!" said Becky, "Is that not obvious? They're vying for your affections!"  
  
"Lucky," muttered Mako.  
  
"But - but - why?" said Gemma.  
  
"Oh, look, Will's back," said Cirfia. He was returning, looking thoroughly depressed. "Any luck?"  
  
"None," said Will downheartedly.  
  
"Well, knowing her, she's probably off somewhere with a sailor-" began Mako, but she was interrupted by Catarina, who had just returned with the others from their visit to the rum stall.  
  
"Maybe she's been kidnapped by pirates!" she said.  
  
"Again," said the girls sullenly.  
  
"Most likely those cursed pirates," said Jack, "Ah well, no need to find the pink diamond any more, what say you we get back to Tortuga?"  
  
"We need to rescue her!" said Will.  
  
"Ah, come on Will, you've already won your fair lady's heart, no more need for valour-"  
  
"I don't care!" said Will, heading back towards the ship, Frankie, Cirfia, Kathryn, Hanna and Mako in hot pursuit.  
  
"Let them go," said Jack, "Who's for more rum?"  
  
"Aren't they going to take our ship?" said Tanuki. Jack didn't say anything for a few seconds, but he turned a strange colour of grey mixed with red.  
  
"I see your point," he said finally, and was silent again. The crew glanced at each other. Suddenly he burst into a sprint, and raced down to the dock, closely followed by the rest of them.  
  
"STOP!" he shouted, as Will raised the anchor, "STOOOOP!!!" He leapt towards the ship, just missing the side of the boat as it left the bay, and fell into the sea. He surfaced again, spouting water, yet his eyeliner was still intact.  
  
"How on earth does it DO that, Jack?" said Jackie.  
  
"How on earth what?" said Jack, scrambling up a rope that Will threw to him from the ship. The people on the ship threw ropes to the people still on the quay, and they swung onto the ship, which Brandi enjoyed immensely ("It's one of the reasons I JOINED," she said).  
  
"How do you always keep your eyeliner from smudging?"  
  
"What eyeliner?" said Jack, heading below to get some rum. Jackie exchanged looks with Catarina and shuddered.  
  
"So, back to the ocean wave!" said Frankie happily, "Yay!"  
  
"But with no Elizabeth to stuff into cannons," said Mako unhappily.  
  
Suddenly there was a shout from below the decks. Jack came shooting up from below decks faster than Will whenever he saw Elizabeth in trouble, followed closely by four more girls.  
  
"Aw crap," said Will, "Not more girls..."  
  
"Sorry!" said one of them, "We didn't mean to startle him, we were just getting changed..."  
  
"Lovely sight, ladies, no need to be ashamed whatsoever," said Jack, having got over from the shock and was now grinning widely.  
  
"Who ARE you?" said Kathryn.  
  
"Well, I'm Krystal, and this is Mar, Danielle and Ariana," said Krystal, "We were just investigating the ship, and-"  
  
"Stealing from it, more likely than not," said Brandi, drawing her sword.  
  
"No!" said Mar, "We were just looking around, because we think pirates are - well, cool."  
  
"And we were wondering if we could join your crew?" said Ariana anxiously.  
  
"Of course!" said Jack, before Will could say anything, "No reason why we should get rid of girls as hot - ah, I mean, as, um - reckless as you."  
  
"No respect for women," tutted Will to Gemma, who couldn't help agreeing. "I, on the other hand, treat them like the angels they are." He kissed her hand. Gemma couldn't help reddening slightly. Jack glared, and started to plot ways to get Gemma back on his side.  
  
"Hi Willy-poo," said Danielle. Will turned bright red, and Jack cackled.  
  
"Besides, we know about the cursed pirates you're looking for!" said Mar.  
  
"You do?" said Alex.  
  
"Yeah," said Danielle, "We know that they were last seen sailing in this sort of area. About two weeks ago. They may know you're coming."  
  
"Who cares?" said Yilantri, "We'd get to kick cursed pirate ass!"  
  
"Arrrr!" said Kathryn.  
  
"But then - if it was only a couple of weeks ago - where could Elizabeth have gone?" said Hanna.  
  
Will looked back at the docks. Suddenly he caught sight of something which terrified him more than all the cursed pirates in the ocean put together. Elizabeth, glaring with her arms crossed.  
  
"Oh HELL," he said, and leapt overboard, swimming as fast as he could back towards land.  
  
"Turn the ship around," said Jack, "We may as well get some more rum, since we're going there anyway-"  
  
"You've already loaded the ship with half the rum on Rum Island," said Cirfia as Krystal, Mar, Danielle and Diana ran to turn the rudder.  
  
"Yes, well, you can never have enough," said Jack. He turned to Gemma. "By the way, Gemma, if I told you that you had a lovely body, would you hold it against me?" He winked.  
  
"Stop freaking out our friend!" said Alex and Frankie, pulling Gemma away from Jack, who was looking very uneasy.  
  
Finally they reached the bay again, and a very wet Will helped Elizabeth back onto the ship. She was muttering about being abandoned, while Will was apologizing endlessly.  
  
"Why are you apologizing, Will?" asked Mako, "It wasn't your fault. It was her who vanished."  
  
"And where to, may we ask?" said Mar.  
  
Elizabeth immediately stopped muttering, and reddened slightly. "Nowhere," she said, and went hastily below decks.  
  
"What a wet blanket," said Ariana, "WHY did we have to bring her?"  
  
"Come on, she's not that bad," said Catarina, "It's not her fault she fell for Will. I mean, can you honestly blame her?"  
  
"Yeah, but STILL..." said Mako.  
  
*****  
  
Mako - Um, OK, try to tone down the bloodlust... I know you don't like Elizabeth...  
  
Im a Brandybuck - I know! It's a very Jack Sparrow phrase!  
  
Tanuki Yasha - Huzzah! Author alerts! How do you get those? I haven't figured out how...  
  
Sugaricing - OK, you're in! As you can see...  
  
Stargirl - Thanks!  
  
Reasonably Crazy - I know I am. MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
Hyper-Elf - You said other stuff too! Right? Uhh... right? Well, you will in future.  
  
Cat Youkai - I haven't decided who'll win yet. I think I'm leaving that up to Gemma.  
  
Wolf-sister - Yes, my teachers don't seem to understand when I tell them that I just CAN'T do my homework that weekend because I have several chapters I need to write...  
  
Theshiz - Yes, I think you have gone, um, slightly insane.  
  
Lucki Me - That's a good idea! Hmm.... *random mind starts plotting* And you had bacon anyway, so that's where she got it from! It was one of the supplies in the galley!  
  
Yilantri - Oh no, NOW I CAN'T STOP PICTURING IT!!!  
  
Cirfia - Whoa, how did I know that? My mum says she's psychic, and she says that she expects I am too... I don't know if I believe in it... sometimes I 'foresee' what Simpsons episode it's going to be, but that's hardly useful, is it?  
  
Danielle18 - I'm so sorry, but as I said, I can't take any more people, cos now I just have TOO MANY. I'm really sorry. Hope you enjoy it anyway. Actually, wait, there's already a girl called Danielle. I could try and combine your characters if you like?  
  
Oh, and by the way people, if you know any really good and cheesy pirate jokes, please e-mail them to me at hobbit_eyes@kittymail.com! DO NOT PUT THEM IN THE REVIEWS, I WILL GET INTO TROUBLE. All will be revealed soon enough! Byyye! 


	8. A pirate's life is a wonderful life

Hey there! Who's seen Johnny Depp in Edward Scissorhands? I saw it the other day, and I was just thought "Wow, sea air's really good for him..." This story is part of my MEGA UPDATE, several new stories and many updated old ones. By the way, I've got a new Pirates of the Caribbean story coming soon, so keep an eye out for it!  
  
Chapter 8 - A pirate's life is a wonderful life  
  
The next morning, all the crew were given jobs. Frankie and Mako were in the galley, Mako preparing food, Frankie making endless cups of tea.  
  
Cirfia was making bead fairies for trade (and weapons, she insisted). Danielle was showing her how she could use them for voodoo, but Cirfia insisted that her dolls were only used for good.  
  
Yilantri, who'd grown up next to the sea, was put at the top of the mast as a lookout.  
  
Brandi was swinging about everywhere on ropes. No-one was quite sure why she was doing this, but no-one dared to ask.  
  
Ariana was in the galley as well, showing Mako and Frankie her martial arts skills.  
  
The rest of the crew were given basic cleaning and repairing jobs. After a while, Will began to teach the six new girls how to sword fight, so Jack took advantage of his absence to have another crack at Gemma, who was currently hanging upside down over the edge of the ship, legs held by Alex, to clean the nameplate of the ship.  
  
"Hey! Gemma!" called Jack.  
  
"What now?" said Gemma.  
  
"Aren't you tired? Because you've been running through my mind all night."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Is it hot today or is just you?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you have a plaster? Because I skinned my knee when I fell for you."  
  
"Jack - what are you doing?"  
  
"Come on! Tell me you don't think I'm hot!"  
  
"Well, uh..."  
  
"Can you leave us alone for a second?" said Jack, turning to Alex.  
  
"Um, Jack-" said Alex nervously.  
  
"Now! It's an order, savvy?"  
  
Alex shrugged and walked off. Jack sighed and turned back to Gemma. Who, without the somewhat essential hold of Alex, had succumbed to gravity and gone plummeting into the sea.  
  
"Every TIME," muttered Jack, and leapt in after her. Will, hearing a commotion, saw Jack leaping after Gemma, who was bobbing in the water.  
  
"Oh, I see your little game, Mr Sparrow," he said, and also leapt overboard. All the girls rushed to the side of the ship, and saw Will and Jack squabbling over who got to rescue Gemma.  
  
"What's gotten into them?" said Hanna.  
  
"I don't know, but I don't see why it favours Gemma," said Mako sullenly.  
  
Jack and Will were still fighting it out.  
  
"I should save her!"  
  
"No way! I saved Elizabeth, I have experience in these matters!"  
  
"So?"  
  
"So? Get out my way, whelp!"  
  
"DON'T CALL ME A WHELP!!!"  
  
Gemma, forgotten, swam to the side of the ship and was pulled aboard by Frankie and Alex. Jack and Will continued to bicker for about five minutes, until they realised that their ship was sailing away from them, Gemma waving from the stern.  
  
"Stop the ship!" shouted Jack.  
  
"STOP THE SHIP!!!!" shouted Alex, Becky, Diana, Mar, Brandi, Catarina, Ariana and Yilantri. Tanuki threw the anchor overboard, and Will and Jack were hoisted back on deck (with more than a little cursing from Jack, I may add.)  
  
"Where - did - you - go?" panted Will to Gemma.  
  
"Well, I can save myself perfectly well without you, you know," said Gemma, "I'm not ELIZABETH."  
  
"Anyway, where were we, Gemma?" said Jack, "Ah yes - What's your name? Or shall I just call you mine?"  
  
"Jack, STOP IT!" said Gemma, "I don't like you, and if you want me to, don't try it with cheesy chat-up lines! They SUCK!"  
  
Jack was silent for a second. "Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by you again?" he said. Gemma rolled her eyes and went below decks.  
  
"Idiot," said Will, shaking his head, "That's not how you seduce someone."  
  
"Well, I haven't seen YOU doing all that much," said Jack.  
  
"That's because I'm subtle, see? That's what girls like."  
  
"And also, that way your bonny lass doesn't see what you're up to."  
  
"Her name is ELIZABETH."  
  
"Don't think that the bet's off. I can still get her."  
  
"Well, why don't we raise the stakes? If I win, then you have to stop drinking rum for a month."  
  
"A MONTH? How can I survive a MONTH?"  
  
"What, worried that I'm going to win all of a sudden?"  
  
"Fine. And if I win, which I WILL, you, uh... have to let me take Elizabeth out for a night on the town."  
  
"WHAT? That's totally unfair! I love Elizabeth!"  
  
"I love rum. We're square."  
  
Will and Jack glared at each other for a few seconds, the girls watching in amazement. "Fine," said Will finally, "Doesn't really matter, as I'm going to win anyway."  
  
"We'll see about that," said Jack, walking off to his supply of rum. Frankie, Cirfia, Kathryn, Hanna, Mako, Danielle and Tanuki glanced at each other, then ran after him.  
  
"Hey! Jack!" called Hanna, "We'll help you win this bet."  
  
"Why, exactly?" said Jack.  
  
"Because I want Will and Elizabeth to break up!" said Mako, "Then I can finally go out with my beloved Leggy."  
  
"Leggy?" said Jack, eyebrows raised.  
  
"And I can go out with my Willy-poo," said Danielle. She and Mako glared at each other.  
  
"Me for the same reason," said Tanuki. The girls all stared at him. "Except with Elizabeth, of course."  
  
Jack looked at them all. "Alright, done," he said.  
  
Meanwhile, Alex, Becky, Diana, Brandi, Catarina, Yilantri, Ariana and Mar were having a rapid discussion.  
  
"This is quickly turning into a critical situation," said Ariana, "Gemma is playing hard to get, and Jack likes that in a girl."  
  
"If he does get her, chances are he'll keep her," said Yilantri, "THEN what will we do?"  
  
"We'll help Will win the bet," said Diana, "Because then, Jack will probably hate the sight of Gemma from then on..."  
  
"And we can give him rum when he's not allowed any!" said Mar triumphantly.  
  
And so the bet just got more complicated. Except for Jackie and Krystal, who had taken over as lookout, and knew nothing of this, and didn't fancy either of them anyway.  
  
*****  
  
That night, the crew all sat out on the deck watching the sun go down. Jack had distributed some of his precious rum, so they were merry and happy.  
  
Will glanced around to check whether Elizabeth was within earshot, then learnt over to Gemma.  
  
"See that star, Gemma?" he said, "It's the most beautiful in the sky. Which is why I think they should name it after you."  
  
"Really?" said Gemma, reddening, "I think that's Venus. You know, the Roman goddess of love?"  
  
"Yes," said Will. They looked at each other.  
  
"Hey, isn't Venus the one with the poisonous gas?" said Mako quickly.  
  
"Yeah!" said Frankie, "And the red hot rocks, and the acid clouds..."  
  
"Pretty grouchy planet, if you ask me," said Tanuki, nodding thoughtfully. Gemma looked uneasy and got to her feet, making her way to the other end of the ship. Jack shook his head.  
  
"Pitiful," he said, "Watch how the masters do it." He also got up and followed Gemma.  
  
"Hey, Gemma," he said.  
  
"No more chat-up lines, please," said Gemma nervously.  
  
"Yes, about those," said Jack.  
  
Sensitive, Jack, said his brain, sensitive. Girls like sensitive.  
  
"I'm actually very shy," he said, picturing he was Will, "I find it really hard to express how I feel, and..."  
  
"You didn't seem to have any trouble with all those other girls," said Gemma, one eyebrow raised.  
  
"Well, the reason I was with all those girls is that - well - I've been looking for the right one. And I think I've found her." He looked up at Gemma, trying to look sad. Gemma's face was passive, but her eyes had softened.  
  
"Hey! JACK!" said Catarina. She ran up and slapped him.  
  
"What was that for?" he said.  
  
"You said you loved me! And I find you with other girls?"  
  
"I-"  
  
"Yeah!" said Yilantri, "You give me one brilliant night, then just ignore me?" She also slapped him.  
  
"And you left the toilet seat up, you bastard!" said Mar, again slapping him.  
  
"Oof," said Jack, reeling slightly.  
  
"Hi Gemma," said Cirfia, "Do want a yellow bead fairy?"  
  
"Um," said Gemma, "OK."  
  
"That's a cool bonfire," said Will, coming to stand next to Diana and Hanna, who were happily making a large fire on one of the decks, "What did you make it from?"  
  
"Oh, just some dresses we found..." said Hanna innocently.  
  
"You-" said Elizabeth, "THOSE ARE MY BEST DRESSES!!!"  
  
"I have a problem!" said Diana, hiding behind Will with Hanna, using him as a shield, "I like burning things!"  
  
"THOSE ARE NOT THINGS!!! THOSE ARE MY BEST DRESSES!!!!!"  
  
Meanwhile, Kathryn was gazing absent-mindedly over the side of the ship. Suddenly she spotted something, and gasped. "Hey! Jack!" she called.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Cursed ships have black sails, right?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And we're looking for a cursed ship, right?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And do no other ships have black sails?"  
  
"No."  
  
"... Have you really not guessed what I've spotted?"  
  
"No. What?"  
  
"Well, unless the Black Pearl's sails are at the dry cleaners, we have cursed pirates off the starboard bow!"  
  
"Which way's that?" said Krystal.  
  
"Uhh, right, I think," said Hanna. They all raced to the right side.  
  
"Yep. Cursed pirates," said Will, "Brilliant."  
  
"Excellent," said Brandi, rubbing her hands together and grinning, "Some cursed pirates are in for an ass-kicking."  
  
*****  
  
Tanuki Yasha - And in this chapter, you helped defeat Will's advances! BE PROUD!  
  
Stargirl - Sorry, Elizabeth's going to be in this until the end. She's an essential character.  
  
Cirfia - You do that as well? Weird! *X-files theme tune*  
  
Theshiz - You're burnt something now. Plus it was something of Elizabeth's. Thought you'd like that.  
  
Yilantri who is now hopefully out of her lethargy - Archery! Legolas does archery! I do archery! Archery is cool! Plus arrows are easier to run away from...  
  
Im a Brandybuck - I never need all that much encouragement to update every week. I think it's fun. Plus I get to freak out everyone in the computer room when I see how many e-mails I have the morning after...  
  
Reasonably Crazy - Thanks!  
  
Lucki Me - You're going to find out where Elizabeth was later!  
  
Krystal & Mar - Um, no, you can't kill Elizabeth...  
  
Hyper-Elf - Thought you'd like this chapter!  
  
Cat Youkai - Yes, you've got to feel sorry for Will. And now there's Elizabeth in the equation...  
  
Danielle - Of course! I'm really sorry you couldn't come in!  
  
Two Bored Idiots - Sorry you can't come in this one! There MAY be a sequel, so if there is, you can be in that! 


	9. The First Battle but not the last

Hey people! Going on a little break now, cos I have just so much homework and other stuff to do - sorry! Also there's the little problem of needing to write more of each of my stories... hmmm... might get more reviews if I actually put up writing...  
  
ANY GUYS WHO ARE READING, PLEASE SEND ME IN THE ENTRY FORM!!!! I need more boys in this story!! PLEASE!!!  
  
Chapter 9 - The First Battle (but not the last)  
  
The crew of the ship watched in half fear, half excitement as the ship grew closer. This was their first cursed pirate ship, but Jack assured them that he had experience in these matters.  
  
"Brilliant," said Brandi, "Brilliant brilliant brilliant."  
  
"Brilliant?!" said Gemma, "HOW is this BRILLIANT?"  
  
"Don't worry Gemma, I'll protect you!" said Will.  
  
"So will I," said Jack, "But I believe that you could defend yourself perfectly well without my help!"  
  
"Ooh, good answer," said Frankie.  
  
"What's going on?" said Elizabeth.  
  
"Pirates!" said Hanna, "What else?"  
  
"Oh," said Elizabeth, "What do they want?"  
  
"Who knows?" said Will, "We don't have anything valuable. Except, uh, you, of course," he added quickly, seeing her face.  
  
"And Gemma," said Jack, slapping Gemma on the back, causing her to nearly fall over.  
  
"We need a cunning plan!" said Kathryn, "A plan to get rid of them, or defeat them if need be."  
  
"Hmm..." said Jack, "Plans were never really my strong point..."  
  
"I think-" began Will.  
  
"No!" said Yilantri, "Don't let HIM come up with the plan, it'll involve doing stupid things and heroic cliches! DON'T LET HIM SAY MORE HEROIC CLICHES!!!!" She collapsed sobbing onto Jack's shoulder. Jack looked slightly nervous and patted her reassuringly on her shoulder.  
  
"Well, I know when I'm not wanted," said Will sulkily.  
  
"Um, Jack?" said Jackie as the ship continued to get closer, "How exactly ARE these pirates cursed?"  
  
"Well, from what I've heard, they don't LOOK cursed," said Jack, "They just look normal. However they're cursed they're keeping quiet about it."  
  
"Why exactly?"  
  
"People! Swords!" said Will, pulling out his own. Everyone else followed suit, trying to remember all that they'd been taught. Those taught by Will immediately tossed their hair and looked haughty yet cool. Those taught by Jack pulled handfuls of sand out of their pockets. Those taught by Elizabeth reminisced over that time they shoved her into one of the cannons. Ah, memories.  
  
By this time, the ship had come pretty much right next to them. The crew seemed to be just your average, old, ugly crew of pirates. In fact-  
  
"Hey!" said Ariana, blinking, "They look just like Barbossa's crew!"  
  
"So they do!" said Will.  
  
"Oh hell," said Jack.  
  
"What?" said Diana, not sure if she wanted to hear this.  
  
"It's..." said Jack.  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's... a sequel."  
  
"Too right!" called Barbossa from the other ship, "How else can you have a Disney sequel without an unfeasible return of the previous baddie?"  
  
"Unfeasible is right," said Frankie, "Does a bullet mean NOTHING anymore?"  
  
"Blame Jack if you have to blame anyone," said Barbossa.  
  
"What?" said the crew, turning to look at Jack.  
  
Jack looked extremely shifty.  
  
"Jack?" said Ariana nervously, "What did you do?"  
  
"Oh, nothing," said Jack sheepishly.  
  
"He ESCAPED, that's what!" said Barbossa, "If all the main characters survive except the bad guy, what can you expect except a sequel?"  
  
"Stupid unimaginative author," muttered Will.  
  
"Uh, Jack?" said Catarina, "Shouldn't we do something?"  
  
"I'm ready when you are, darling," said Jack, throwing an arm round her shoulders.  
  
"Heh, yes, um, I meant against the cursed pirates," said Catarina.  
  
"Oh, right. Load the cannons!"  
  
"Come on Elizabeth!" said Mako gleefully.  
  
"No! Not with crewmembers! How many times?" said Jack.  
  
"Not much control over your new crew then, Jackie?" said Barbossa.  
  
"Huh?" said Jackie, looking up.  
  
"Not you," said Barbossa.  
  
"Yes, he was going a very unoriginal nickname," said Jack, "And for your information, Barbossa, my crew is becoming the most feared in the Spanish Main."  
  
"Isn't your deck on fire?" said Barbossa, pointing to the top deck, where Diana and Hanna's bonfire was blazing out of control.  
  
"Oh HELL!" said Will.  
  
"How many times, girls?" said Jack, "DON'T LIGHT FIRES ON WOODEN SHIPS!!!"  
  
"We have a problem!" protested Diana and Hanna.  
  
"Bead fairy?" said Cirfia to one of Barbossa's crew.  
  
"Narrr," he replied.  
  
"That's feeble," said Kathryn, "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!"  
  
Several of Barbossa's crew jumped.  
  
"Enough of this," said Barbossa, rolling his eyes, "Go on guys, go do what you do best."  
  
"What was that again?" whispered Gemma.  
  
"It was - oh hell," said Becky, "Swords, people!"  
  
Jack was quickly trying to get control of the situation. "Hey! Will!" he shouted to Will, "You guard half of the them and I'll guard half!"  
  
"Fine!" said Will, "Come on Gemma, stay close to me!"  
  
"WHAT? She is on MY half of the ship, whelp!"  
  
"Since when is that YOUR HALF?"  
  
"Since ALWAYS!"  
  
"Well, your half is on FIRE, Jackie!"  
  
"Huh?" said Jackie, looking up again.  
  
Jack looked up at the burning top deck and seemed to reconsider. "I have reassessed the situation," he said, "And have determined that we're both on the wrong halves."  
  
"I thought so," said Will, "But I really couldn't give a-"  
  
"ARRRR!!!!" shouted Kathryn and charged towards one of the pirates.  
  
"WHO'S FIRST???" bellowed Brandi, swinging her sword in front of her.  
  
"OK, let's get started," said Jack, unnecessarily, as most of the girls were now charging at the oncoming pirates. And so battle was joined.  
  
The girls actually did quite well, considering that this was their first fight, even though Mako did get a bit carried away and hurled spoons at some pirates. Luckily this seemed to convince them of her insanity, and most gave her a wide berth.  
  
Will was defending his girls when he noticed - as you may have expected - some of the pirates carrying off Elizabeth. He proceeded to rescue her in a highly dramatic way, involving several ropes, his sword throwing skills and couple of pomegranates. But in the end, he triumphantly brought her back to their ship.  
  
"Way to go," said Jack, "But you seem to have let your side down."  
  
Will turned round to see most of the girls that it had been up to him to defend surrounded by Barbossa's crew. "Oh HELL," he said loudly, "Can't I get a BREAK? TOO MANY GIRLS!!!"  
  
Fortunately the girls knew just how to handle this situation. Many would have known, but several sword blades hovering just inches from your face can make things damn hard to remember.  
  
"Parley!" shouted Krystal and Mar simultaneously. The pirates stopped.  
  
"Did they - did they just say-" stammered one of them.  
  
"WE HATE YOU JACK SPARROW!!!" shouted another, waving his fist at said captain, who was still attempting to prevent Mako from throwing spoons at Barbossa.  
  
"Yes, parley!" said Yilantri quickly, "We, um, want to talk to Barbossa."  
  
"That we do," agreed Frankie.  
  
"Parley," said Diana, nodding.  
  
"I'll tell you where you can stick your parley-" began one of the pirates, but the others muttered profanities and hauled all nine girls back onto Barbossa's crew.  
  
"NINE prisoners?" said one of the pirates in astonishment, "They can't have all-"  
  
"They DID," said one of them sullenly.  
  
"WE HATE YOU JACK SPARROW!!!" shouted most of the crew.  
  
"One more," said another pirate, leading Elizabeth, "She was practically hanging around waiting to be captured. She's very good at it."  
  
"Dammit," muttered Jackie, "We couldn't even ditch her."  
  
"Come on men, sail away before more of them say parley," called another pirate, "We don't have enough food for them all."  
  
"Well, this is most certainly interesting," said Hanna as they were all led below decks.  
  
"We only joined this crew because we were bored," said Krystal.  
  
"How do you think WE feel?" said Mar, finishing her sentence, as they had a habit of doing.  
  
*****  
  
I'm sorry this chapter's a leetle short, and I'm sorry I'm just so unimaginative as to make Barbossa return, but I figured that most of you guys wouldn't mind, cos you're just so lovely... *blinks hobbit-eyes appealingly*  
  
Tanuki Yasha - Yes, you're an intervener! And you're going to have a bigger part later on, I promise! Hey, question - do you mind if you're given a girlfriend in this?  
  
Daemon Express - You could make a cameo appearance... WAIT! You're not a boy, are you? Cos if you are, I could use having another guy in this story. If you are, then send me in the form, and you'll appear soon. If not, and you're a girl, then I'm REALLY sorry, but I'm very tired, as it is eleven pm in England when I'm writing this, preparing to update tomorrow.... zzzzz....  
  
Krystal + Mar - Hope you guys like your parts! Yep!  
  
theshiz - OK. BAD EMILIO!!!!!!  
  
EMILIO: What did I do?  
  
You influnced theshiz to burn things!!! And I don't even know you!!!  
  
EMILIO: Uh, OK then.  
  
Mako - And early happy Revolutions day to you! IT'S ON WEDNESDAY!!!!  
  
Im a Brandybuck - Oh no! But it's true, Venus is pink, but that's only because of the lava and the poisonous gas and all that...  
  
Yilantri - I DO????? *hurls self to the ground as arrows whizz overhead* HEY! BARBOSSA!  
  
Barbossa: What?  
  
If you want me on your crew as another cursed person, help me defend myself from these chickens!  
  
Barbossa: No way! They bite!  
  
Hyper-Elf - Thanks! It's easy to fight to Elizabeth way, just duck behind the nearest blacksmith.  
  
Stargirl - Thanks!  
  
Cat Youkai - I KNOW!!! It nearly made ME cry! IT WAS SO SAD!!!!! *sniff* He was so un-unloved...  
  
Michaela - There's almost definitely going to be a sequel! Either that or I continue the story on after the search is over, one way or another!  
  
Lucki Me - Great ideas! Thanks!  
  
Ella Baggins - I'm not going to kill Elizabeth. I actually think *whispers* she's pretty cool... AAARGH!!!! *ducks yet more arrows from chickens* What? She can't help it if she falls in love with Will! I mean, who wouldn't? 


	10. A pirate's life is a wonderful life ri...

Sorry I haven't updated for so long - I've been mega-ultra-super-busy, and also my account was frozen for breaking site rules, and that's why both my party stories have vanished as well. Bummer. However, for those of you who were going to be in the next chapter, I already had it written so I can send it to you if you want. And I've put this message at the stop of all my stories, so if you have a feeling of deja vu, don't worry, it's not the Matrix.  
  
This story's still going strong, according to you people, but it's becoming slightly more serious now. I hope those of you who were kidnapped by cursed pirates don't mind too much, but you're still going to be in the story! And I'm planning a sequel, just so you know! And thanks to those of you who sent in pirate jokes - as you'll see below, they were very useful!  
  
Chapter 10 - A Pirate's life is a wonderful life... right?  
  
"HEY!" said Brandi indignantly, "They're sailing away!" She ran to the edge of the ship and shook her sword at them. "COME BACK YE SCURVY COWARDS!!!" Catarina, recognizing signs of dementia (she and Brandi had become friends in the time on the ship) dragged her back again.  
  
"Well, not a bad battle, all things considered," said Jack, brushing off his clothes, "No rum harmed..."  
  
"Uh, Jack?" said Ariana, "Just the slight drawback that we are now minus ten members of our crew."  
  
"Nine," said Becky, "Elizabeth doesn't really count."  
  
"Elizabeth?" said Will, coming up the side of the ship - the only way they'd captured Elizabeth was by tripping him, and he'd somersaulted out of habit straight over the edge of the boat, again - "THEY'VE CAPTURED ELIZABETH???"  
  
"Bad luck mate," said Jack, clapping him on the shoulder, "I mean, how long is it going to be before you get another fiancee, especially since you're a eu-"  
  
"I'm NOT!!!"  
  
"I can check that," said Mako innocently.  
  
"We've got to save them, though!" said Tanuki, feeling thoroughly left out of the heroics, "We can't just leave them with Barbossa! Who knows how much they're suffering?"  
  
*****  
  
"... And then the pirate says to Jack, 'That's not the tavern, that's a FARM!'" laughed Jackie insanely, slapping the deck. All the other pirates cracked up at yet another weird pirate joke.  
  
"When is a pirate not a pirate?" said Frankie.  
  
"When?" chorused the rest of the pirates.  
  
"When it's Will Turner!" Frankie and Yilantri giggled insanely, but everyone else looked at each other, feeling slightly worried.  
  
"I got one, I got one!" said Diana eagerly, "What does a peg-leg and hook cost?"  
  
"What?" chorused the rest of the pirates.  
  
"An arm and a leg!"  
  
As laughter echoed around the ship, Barbossa came up from below decks. "What's going on?" he asked, "Why aren't the prisoners below decks?"  
  
"We got out of there in five seconds," said Krystal.  
  
"Call those locks?" said Mar, "By the way, I think this coin is yours." She held out a piece of pirate gold. Barbossa glared and snatched it back.  
  
"Call that a pocket?" smiled Krystal.  
  
"Are you meaning to tell me," said Barbossa to the crew, who were all looking slightly sheepish, "that all the prisoners managed to escape?"  
  
"Not all," said one of the pirates, "Those two-" he pointed at Krystal and Mar, "-freed all of them except Sulky."  
  
"Sulky?"  
  
"Elizabeth," said Hanna, "And a party-pooper if there ever was one."  
  
"What's with the gold?" said Hanna, "You haven't stolen cursed pirate coins AGAIN, have you?" Barbossa looked sheepish. "HAVE YOU?"  
  
"Oh, Barbossa," said Gemma, "You really need to see someone about this. I think it's a serious problem. I mean, you've only been free of the last curse for about a week, and already you're under another one-"  
  
"Shut up missy!" said Barbossa.  
  
"How rude," whispered Gemma to Frankie.  
  
"How are you cursed this time?" asked Yilantri, "You look normal right now."  
  
"We're cursed," began Barbossa, "So that we look normal at night, and during the day..."  
  
"What?" said Krystal and Mar, trying to sound sympathetic.  
  
"Well, during the day, the curse gets complicated. We appear to be the person that the person who's seeing us hates the most and finds the most irritating..."  
  
"Really?" said Frankie, starting to look slightly worried, "So come sunrise, I'm going to be on the same ship as about thirty Harry Potters?"  
  
"I suppose so," said Barbossa. Frankie stared into space, looking terrified, then hurled herself towards the side of the ship. Two of the crew grabbed onto her as she tried desperately to reach the rail.  
  
"Let me off!!" she cried as they dragged her back, "I can't stay on the same ship as thirty Harry Potters! It's not natural!!"  
  
"No," said Barbossa, "It's not. It's also extremely hard to get apples, so we're trying to lift the curse."  
  
"Well, none of us have pirate blood, so you have no need for us!" protested Yilantri.  
  
"Who said we needed pirate blood to lift the curse?" said Barbossa.  
  
"Then what do you need?" said Cirfia uneasily.  
  
"... Pirate blood," said Barbossa feebly.  
  
"Oh, original," said Cirfia.  
  
"But none of us are pirates," said Jackie, "We're just wannabes. I mean, Diana and Hanna here are only debutantes who are sponsoring us. Can't you at least let them go?"  
  
"No," said Barbossa.  
  
"Why?" said Diana.  
  
"Because I'm captain on this ship, and I decide what goes," said Barbossa. He turned to rest of the pirates. "Get these girls below again, with stronger locks!" He strode to the front of the ship, Jack the monkey still on his shoulder. The pirates led the girls back down below, where, even though this was a different ship, there was still a leak.  
  
The door was locked shut, and all the girls sat glumly in the semi- darkness, listening to the water splashing around and Elizabeth muttering in the next cell. Pirate life certainly wasn't being like it seemed.  
  
"Cheer up, guys," said Diana, "Will will come and save us."  
  
There was a silence. "We're all going to die, aren't we?" said Yilantri glumly.  
  
There was another silence. "Hey, what sits at the bottom of the sea and shivers?" said Hanna cheerfully.  
  
*****  
  
"If they're cursed, and this is a spin-off of a Disney film, chances are that they're trying to lift the curse again," said Mako, "So we just need to figure out where their curse-initiation point is."  
  
Everyone was on the deck of the ship, where they had succeeded in dousing the fire, and were trying to figure out how to save their friends. Mako was taking advantage of Elizabeth's absence to snuggle up next to Will.  
  
"But they can't be the cursed pirates guarding the Big Pink Pretty Albeit Cursed Diamond though, can they?" pointed out Catarina, "I mean, how can a legend become well-known in a matter of days?"  
  
"Unless..." said Jack, looking unusually thoughtful.  
  
"Unless what?" said Becky.  
  
"Unless they were cursed by two things," finished Will, "So that would explain why they survived!"  
  
"Good enough explanation for Disney and most fanfiction writers anyway," shrugged Ariana.  
  
"But, um, one problem," said Tanuki, "I can prove they aren't the pirates guarding the Big Pink Pretty Albeit Cursed Diamond."  
  
"Oh yes?" said Jack, "And just how can you do that?"  
  
"Because there's more cursed pirates over there," said Tanuki, pointing over the side of the ship, "And they have a big flag with a pink diamond with a cross through it."  
  
Everyone raced over to look. "I see your point," said Jack. He turned to face his crew. "Now, does anyone here think running away is cowardly?"  
  
"Yes," said Brandi and Will immediately.  
  
A cannon ball shot over their heads, punching a hole in one of the sails. "How about now?" asked Jack again.  
  
"It's not running away, it's a tactical manoeuvre," said Will, and ran to turn the rudder.  
  
*****  
  
Hope y'all liked this chapter! This one'll be coming to an end soon, and I've already decided on the ending, mwahahaha! And so onto callouts...  
  
Archangel Genesis 9 - I got your form, and your sister's, and I'll see what I can do!  
  
Mronimusha - Hahaha! You're in! You'll come in at the same time as Mort, most likely.  
  
Tanuki Yasha - Great! Uh... do you actually WANT a girlfriend in this, or are you just humouring me? You can be truthful, I don't mind either way.  
  
Krystal&Mar - Thanks! Glad you like your parts! Yep!  
  
Theshiz - Yes, I've seen Donnie Darko, and you will have seen it by now as well! It's great, isn't it?  
  
Im a Brandybuck - Thanks! Gloves are good. Our house is like sixty years old and the heating isn't all that good...  
  
Hyper-Elf - Burning stuff is fun. I'm getting a reputation in Chemistry as a pyromaniac - when we use Bunsen burners I delight in breaking up bits of wood and tissue paper and setting them alight. I actually set fire to a dustbin once... my teacher was maaaad...  
  
Stargirl - Sorry. I have a lot of people to fit in.  
  
Michaela - Yes, very pretty indeed for a meercat...  
  
Tobias - Brilliant! Brilliant brilliant brilliant! Send me the form as soon as possible!  
  
Cirfia - Sequels are always good, especially the PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN COMING OUT IN 2005!!!! *parties like it's, um, 2005 already*  
  
Yilantri - Uh, not sure about that. And I have chickens as well, so I've become an expert at dodging them.  
  
Lucki Me - Thanks! You'll get to the diamond soon enough, I'm just trying to extend the story slightly and make it more interesting.  
  
See you when I next update! 


	11. The chase is on

This story's going to end soon... But this chapter sees the introduction of not one, not two, but THREE new characters! My desperate call for male applicants has been answered, and I am absolutely thrilled about the fact I now have more guys in this who aren't a roguishly charming pirate or meerkat with only three facial expressions.  
  
Chapter 11 - The chase is on  
  
The ship sailed as fast as it could away from the ship of the cursed pirates, Brandi muttering and glaring at the other ship. "I wouldn't run from ye sea rats!" she shouted angrily, "I'd stand and fight, if the rest of my crew weren't WUSSES!"  
  
"We'd like to see you TRY!" came back the shout.  
  
"Oh yeah?? COME OVER HERE AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE!!!!"  
  
"WHAT DID YOU THINK WE WERE TALKING TO BEFORE?"  
  
"Possibly your AR-"  
  
"Shh, don't aggravate them," said Danielle worriedly.  
  
"Or you were at least talking THROUGH your AR-"  
  
"Stopstopstopstopstop," said Catarina, dragging her off the top deck.  
  
"Puh," said Brandi sulkily, "Puh, I say to you."  
  
"Puh?" said Will.  
  
"Puh," confirmed Brandi.  
  
"Come on everyone, get down below and start rowing," said Will hurriedly, "Except Ariana, it's her turn on lookout."  
  
"Lucky," muttered Becky. Ariana wondered why, but then looked up and saw that Jack had clambered up the ropes to the lookout post and pulled out a telescope. Ariana swung up next to him. "Which way are we going?" asked Ariana.  
  
"It's extremely fortunate," said Jack, "We're actually heading straight towards the island with the diamond."  
  
"Can you see Barbossa's ship anywhere?"  
  
"Yes. It's straight ahead, also heading for the island."  
  
"How fortunate," agreed Ariana.  
  
Meanwhile, the other girls, Will and Tanuki were starting rowing as fast as they could. After a whole two weeks at sea with only Jack and Will, neither of which seemed available, Tanuki seemed to be getting more attractive every day, especially as he was taking tips on how to look cool from Jack.  
  
*****  
  
The girls on Barbossa's ship had played every travel game underneath the sun to try and pass the time. They'd identified every single thing in the hold after countless games of I-Spy, they'd tried climbing the bars (which had got boring remarkably quickly) and they'd given all the woodlice and earwigs names. They were getting bored.  
  
"I need to get out of here," said Frankie, hugging her knees and rocking back and forth, "On the same ship as thirty Harry Potters... I feel unclean."  
  
"I'm stuck here with computers with a slow modem connection," muttered Hanna.  
  
"Hilary Duff," shuddered Diana, "Barbossa as a cheerleader... I never thought I'd see the day."  
  
"OURS is the worst," said Krystal, "We're stuck here with thirty Legolas's."  
  
They didn't notice the silence that had settled over the group. "What is the plural of Legolas?" thought Mar out loud, "Is it Legolas's? Legolasses? Legolii? Legolae?"  
  
"You... get to be on this ship... with THIRTY LEGOLAE???" said Frankie, scarcely able to contain her envious rage, "AND I'M STUCK WITH CHEESEMONGERS????"  
  
"Hey!" said one of the pirates, banging on the bars, "We're going to be arriving at the island in a minute."  
  
"Is it still night-time, then?" said Gemma, restraining Frankie from trying to steal Krystal and Mar's vision, "I don't see a lightning scar..."  
  
"Well, yeah, you've been down here for a day now."  
  
"A DAY??" said Diana, "No wonder my feet are going wrinkly."  
  
"You don't look as old and ugly as the other pirates in this crew," pointed out Frankie.  
  
"I'm not," said the pirate, "I only just joined the crew. All I knew about the diamond was that it was, well, big. He said nothing about it being cursed. Now I'm stuck being cursed as well."  
  
"Awwww," said Gemma sympathetically.  
  
"It's not just me, it's my friends Mort and Tobias as well," said the pirate, "I'm Mro. Short for Mronimusha."  
  
"You have friends?" said Jackie, perking up.  
  
"Yeah," said Mro, "HEY! MORT! TOBIAS!"  
  
"What?" said another two young pirates, poking their heads through the hatch.  
  
"Are you chatting up female captives again, Mro?" asked Tobias, shaking his head.  
  
"Maybe," said Mro sheepishly.  
  
"Do you want a bead fairy?" said Cirfia, holding out a fresh new batch she'd made while in the cell. Mro, Mort and Tobias happily accepted them.  
  
"So just how old are you guys?" asked Yilantri.  
  
"Well, I'm 16," said Mort, "And Mro is 18, and Tobias is 16 too."  
  
"Hey," said Krystal and Mar, batting their eyelashes.  
  
"How on earth did you end up with Barbossa?" asked Diana incredulously.  
  
"Well, we've all wanted to be pirates for ages," began Tobias.  
  
"I've wanted to be one since I was a baby!" said Mort.  
  
"Stab stab stabbity stab," agreed Mro. Gemma looked at him slightly worriedly.  
  
"And we saw a poster up in Rum Island, and we decided to join," said Tobias.  
  
"It didn't say anything about us going after a cursed diamond," said Mort sadly.  
  
"Stab stab stab," agreed Mro.  
  
"Can you stop saying stab? It's slightly worrying," said Diana.  
  
"Sorry," said Mro, "Evil Mro was surfacing."  
  
Gemma got even more worried - just her luck, to be stuck on a ship with a schizophrenic who liked stabbing. She was torn from her slightly scared thoughts by Barbossa coming below the decks. "Hey!" he shouted, "We've arrived at the island. Bring up the prisoners."  
  
"Hey, Barbossa, did you hear the one about the pirate and the seagull?" called out Yilantri, but he'd stomped back up to the deck. Mort, Mro and Tobias unlocked the prison door and led out the nine girls and Elizabeth, who'd been plotting various escape plans since they'd been locked up.  
  
"Listen," said Hanna quickly, "You don't like it here, do you?"  
  
"Hell no," said Mro. Tobias and Mort nodded furiously.  
  
"I haven't seen my sister in ages," said Mort.  
  
"They don't let me have coconut rum!" said Tobias sadly. Krystal and Mar gasped and gave him a hug.  
  
"Well, anyway," said Hanna, "I have a feeling that Jack's going to come after us-"  
  
"Jack?" said Mro in amazement, "JACK SPARROW?"  
  
"Captain Jack Sparrow," corrected Jackie.  
  
"Yes, Jack Sparrow," said Hanna, "If he does come, will you help us to escape as well?"  
  
The boys looked at each other. It didn't take long to decide. "Hell yes!" they said.  
  
*****  
  
Archangel Genesis 9 - You're welcome! I hope you like your part in this!  
  
Krystal + Mar - Sorry, if I let you kill Legolas then there's a strong chance that I'd be lynched.  
  
Tanuki - All right, you can have one! I've already decided who... *grin*  
  
Theshiz - Glad you narrowed it down for me, you couldn't have had all of them. I'm feeling very uncreative, so these are quite short callouts...  
  
Cat Youkai - At least it's out on DVD now! I've already watched it three times... and all of the special features... The deleted scenes are great!  
  
Im a Brandybuck - Those are much nicer than my gloves! Mine are really old and used to be purple...  
  
Stargirl14 - I can't wait either! I haven't even written it yet! Right now I'm spending my Biology lessons trying to sort it out! I know I should be learning...  
  
Hyper-Elf - (mutters to self) Fire is my friend, fire is my friend, what does your chemistry teacher know, you didn't MEAN to set fire to the bin...  
  
Mako - 8 billion explosive motorcycles? That's... a lot of explosive motorcycles.  
  
Yilantri - Thanks! That means a lot! And yes, Jack is having an influence on Will. For the better, I think. In the sequel, he'll be a lot more Sparrowish, probably.  
  
Reasonably Crazy - Of course they will! Hello, this is a Disney sequel! But - at what cost? Dunno...  
  
CatClawz - Uh, OK. Yes ma'am.  
  
See y'all soon! I just have to write the ending! 


	12. Leverage, plans and dramatic arrivals

This story's coming to an end... Not quite yet though! Still a couple more chapters! And this is a very long chapter - don't say that I don't treat you well!  
  
Chapter 12 - Leverage, plans and dramatic arrivals  
  
Jack's ship had landed next to Barbossa's ship. They were about to go onto the island and deal with whatever lay on it, but before Jack had assembled them for one last discussion of the plan. "Now girls," he began.  
  
Tanuki cleared his throat.  
  
"And boy."  
  
"A-HEM," said Will, glaring at Jack.  
  
"And piratey blacksmith."  
  
Mako blinked at him.  
  
"And strange girl who is without classification." Mako smiled contentedly. "We don't know what Barbossa and his crew need to do to lift the curse, or what the girls have to do with it."  
  
"You don't think they're going to kill them, do you?" said Tanuki, trying to get in on the heroism and dashing masculinity, and doing very well.  
  
"Well, we can hope not. So everyone get out your handfuls of sand, and let's hope they're not expecting us."  
  
"What if they are?" said Danielle.  
  
"Any other questions?" said Jack, purposefully looking the other way.  
  
"What if they all have guns out and kill us all?" said Kathryn.  
  
"Any at all?" said Jack, voice risen a couple of octaves.  
  
"Tell Will not to do anything stupid," said Ariana.  
  
"Good point," said Jack, "Will, nothing stupid."  
  
"In which case, he may as well just stay on the ship," said Brandi, "Everything he does is stupid." Kathryn, Mako and Danielle glared at her, fingering their sword hilts.  
  
"Uh, no," said Jack, "Besides, it's a matter of leverage."  
  
"WHAT?!" said Will, getting a look of fear in his eyes not unlike to Frodo Baggins.  
  
"I'm just messin' with you, Will," said Jack, grinning and slapping him on the shoulder. As Will ran off to get his lucky sword, he turned to the girls and said "Seriously, girls, leverage. Lev-er-age."  
  
"Hee hee hee," said Brandi happily.  
  
"But that's not nice, is it?" said Alex, "How can this curse be connected to Will?"  
  
"It's not," shrugged Jack, "But if it comes down to a choice between Will and Ge- the rest of the crew, Will would prefer you to save them. Besides, he can get out of anything."  
  
"With such regularity that it's almost irritating," agreed Catarina.  
  
"What is?" said Will, emerging from below, now with lucky sword, which he had christened Stabby.  
  
"Uhh... rising in rum prices," said Becky.  
  
"She speaks the truth," said Jack, with heartfelt sincerity.  
  
*****  
  
Barbossa's crew led all nine of the girls and Elizabeth into yet another cave, very much like the cave in the film, except instead of a treasure chest full of coins, there was a large diamond on a pedestal.  
  
"Ooooh," they all said.  
  
"It's big," said Diana.  
  
"It's pink," said Jackie.  
  
"It's pretty," said Hanna.  
  
"It's cursed," muttered Mro.  
  
"It's a diamond," said Elizabeth, "The Big Pink Pretty albeit Cursed Diamond!"  
  
"Please, Lizzy, we'd all figured that one out," said Frankie despairingly.  
  
Yilantri sidled up to Barbossa. "So, Barbossa, what's this all about?"  
  
"We're trying to lift the curse," said Barbossa.  
  
"Um, I gathered that," said Yilantri, "What do you need us for?"  
  
"Well," said Barbossa, getting into his scary-curse-legend-explaining voice, "The Big Pink Pretty albeit Cursed Diamond has a curse on it."  
  
"You don't say."  
  
Barbossa glared at her. "Anyway," he continued, "We decided that we wanted this big diamond-"  
  
"How thick can you get?" said Cirfia incredulously.  
  
"Can I please go TWO SECONDS without being interrupted??" shouted Barbossa.  
  
"Sorry," said Cirfia.  
  
"Anyway, we tried to take the diamond, we get cursed. And the only way the curse can be lifted is if we get a pirate beside ourselves."  
  
"But none of us are pirates officially," said Jackie, "We're just some girls who wanted adventure and to be on a ship with Jack and Will for a month or so."  
  
"Yes, but it stands to reasoning that at least one of you must be descended from a pirate," said Barbossa.  
  
"He's right, you know," said Gemma, nodding.  
  
"You're not supposed to agree," muttered Frankie, elbowing Gemma in the ribs.  
  
"What do we actually have to do?" asked Diana.  
  
"Well, we don't know," said Barbossa, "Considering that the instructions are right at the bottom of that pool over there."  
  
"Icky water," winced Gemma. It was - at the back of the cave was a deep pool of water, about five foot, and the water was a murky sort of brown.  
  
"True, and the lads are a bit picky about that," said Barbossa, "We did send someone down-"  
  
"You pushed me in," said Mort sulkily.  
  
"- and they found that the instructions were engraved at the bottom," said Barbossa. "From what Mort managed to make out, it was something to do with pirate blood, showing you're a pirate..."  
  
"So why can't you do that?" said Krystal.  
  
"- and killing," said Barbossa.  
  
"Ah," said Mar, "So... you're going to kill all of us?"  
  
"Well, that was the general idea, yes," said Barbossa.  
  
"Crud," said Gemma.  
  
Suddenly there was a loud crashing from the corner of the cave. All heads turned to the tunnel. Out of the tunnel came rushing Will, closely followed by Brandi and Catarina, who was trying to restrain her, then came Jack with Alex, Becky, Kathryn, Mako, Tanuki, Danielle and Ariana.  
  
"Jack!" said everyone in the cave.  
  
"How's it all going?" said Jack, looking effortlessly cool, as always.  
  
"Will!" said Elizabeth.  
  
"Elizabeth!" said Will.  
  
"Will!"  
  
"Elizabeth!"  
  
"Will!"  
  
"Elizabeth!"  
  
"All right, cut it out," said Ariana.  
  
"What are you doing here?" said Barbossa.  
  
"What do you think?" said Alex, rolling her eyes, "Can you expect any less of Captain Jack Sparrow?"  
  
"No," said Tobias immediately. Another pirate hit him.  
  
"Well, that's alright, we can use Jack to lift the curse," said Barbossa.  
  
"Or Will," said Becky quickly.  
  
Suddenly there was more crashing from the tunnel. Again, all heads turned to see what was going on. Out of the tunnel came a group of pirates, all looking very angry about something.  
  
"Barbossa!" shouted the one at the front, "What do you think you're doing?"  
  
"Lifting the curse," said Barbossa, very matter-of-factly.  
  
"You can't do that!" shouted one of the pirates in the new group, "We've been waiting ages to have the curse lifted! Then you waltz in, lift your curse and take the diamond?"  
  
"Well, yes," said Barbossa.  
  
"What, what, so it's not actually the DIAMOND that's cursed?" said Mar.  
  
"No, it's the cave," said Mro, "If you enter the cave, you're cursed until the curse is lifted."  
  
"Then why's the diamond called cursed?"  
  
"Makes life easier. A person wanted to keep it for safe-keeping, and thought a cursed cave was the best place."  
  
"But then why don't they just sell it?"  
  
"It's exceedingly difficult to get a good price for a diamond if you're Harry Potter," said Tobias.  
  
"Then - why not sell it at night?"  
  
"Duh," said Mort, "All the shops are shut."  
  
"I'm so confused..." moaned Kathryn.  
  
One of the new pirate arrivals pulled out a sword. "You're not lifting the curse with those girls - we are!"  
  
"Oh no you're not!" said Barbossa.  
  
"Oh yes we are!"  
  
"Oh no you're not!"  
  
"Oh yes we are!"  
  
"OK, OK, please, less of the pantomime," said Jack despairingly, "Now, if you two can't share nicely, NEITHER of you will get to lift the curse with these girls."  
  
"Shut up, Jack!" shouted all the pirates.  
  
Suddenly there was yet MORE crashing from the tunnel. "What now?" said Danielle incredulously.  
  
The footsteps in the tunnel came closer. Suddenly a group of men came rushing out.  
  
"Commodore Norrington?" said Elizabeth in amazement.  
  
"Oh bugger," said Jack and dove behind a pile of treasure - Will had informed him of the one day's headstart.  
  
"That was unexpected," whispered Tanuki.  
  
"Nah, not really," said Mako.  
  
"Two - THREE pirate crews," said Commodore Norrington, raising an eyebrow, "I'm good at this."  
  
"Little help?" said Gemma, indicating the pirates holding onto her and the others.  
  
"Oh yes," said Commodore Norrington, pulling out his sword. The rest of the soldier did the same, as did all the pirates. "All you pirates are under arrest. Including Jack Sparrow."  
  
"No!" shrieked the girls.  
  
"Bite me," said Jack.  
  
"What?" said the Commodore, eyebrows raised.  
  
"I picked it up from her," said Jack, pointing at Kathryn. Kathryn beamed that she'd had an influence on him.  
  
"I'd rather not," said Norrington, "Now, I can hardly expect you all to go out and get on the Dauntless like good pirates, can I?"  
  
"Hardly," said Barbossa.  
  
"Worth a try," said Norrington, and he and his comrades leapt forward, as did the other cursed pirates. Jack and Will leapt in also, closely followed by Tanuki, not wanting to be left out. The girls also rapidly joined in, not wanting to be thought of as girly. And so the biggest battle in this story, and therefore accompanied by the best part of the soundtrack, began.  
  
*****  
  
Archangel Genesis 9 - Glad you like it! Now you get to sword fight and be all brave and dashing and heroic! Which is always fun.  
  
Beloved Fool - I got the question, and I've started working on that story. Haven't got all that far, don't know where my creativity's gone...  
  
Tanuki Yasha - There are more POTC fics coming! Probably coming out soonest is 'Pirates of the Out-Of-Characterness', which is a parody of POTC, where everyone's characters are completely reversed... no slash though. That's a promise. And I know who it's going to be, but I don't know how you'd know...  
  
Theshiz - Yes, 'chatting up' is flirting. I never knew it was just an english phrase! I couldn't update very fast because, um, I was kinda missing the next chapter, but NOW I've finished this fic, and already have ideas for a sequel!  
  
Im a Brandybuck - I want new gloves... my ones are getting old...  
  
Krystal&Mar - Uh, OK, right, I'm scared... Very, um, exciting review. I can't promise anything about the injuring-Legolas thing, but you do get to hit at least one of them, I can promise that.  
  
Cat Youkai - My favourite scene was the one with Jack at the end... "The immortal Captain Jack Sparrow has such a lovely ring to it... and it's not a bad look, really..." The look on his face, hahahahahahaha... But my fave thing is the blooper reel! It's so great! "Or will it be bare breast and ankles all the way?" I crack up every time I hear that...  
  
Tobias - (eyes widen) CHOCOLATE? I love you I love you I love you! Glad that you like being in the story so much - and you're probably going to like the next chapter very much! Let's just say there's some coconut rum involved...  
  
Hyper-Elf - That is a funny mental image! Clay isn't my friend... it gets under my fingernails and in my hair, not to mention on my school uniform, which makes my mum mad... My sister's not particularly fond of it either, considering in the middle of her Ceramics GCSE exam her pot collapsed...  
  
Mronimusha - Of course you're allowed to chat up female captives! Just wait for the opportune moment...  
  
Leah - Thanks!  
  
Have a happy Christmas, everyone! 


	13. Battle of the Four Armies and those guys

This is the... second to last chapter! But planning is already underway for a sequel, if you guys want one! This chapter's slightly shorter than others have been, but the last one will be longer, to round everything off nicely. Enjoy!  
  
Chapter 13 - The Battle of the Four Armies (and those guys)  
  
Everyone in that battle had a different objective. Commodore Norrington's objective was to capture all of the cursed pirates and, even though he didn't make it clear, save the girls - that was his job, after all, and he couldn't quite believe that they were hanging out with pirates voluntarily. Jack and Will's objectives were to protect their crew and get them out of there as soon as possible. The cursed pirates' objective was to get rid of the crew of navy sailors and lift the curse, even though they weren't quite sure how to do so. And Mro, Mort and Tobias' objective was to fight on Jack's side, but not look like they were, which really was quite complicated. So they just settled for fighting the other crew of cursed pirates, as no-one seemed to like them.  
  
The girls of the crew had picked up quite a bit of sword fighting skills, but it was Tanuki who excelled himself. He hadn't told any of them that he'd been having lessons from Will, but they all saw that he was fighting very well, and looking haughtily cool as he did so.  
  
"This is like the Battle of the Five Armies in 'The Hobbit'!" said Frankie excitedly.  
  
"Where's the fifth army?" asked Ariana.  
  
"Uhh... those guys," she said, pointing at Mort, Mro and Tobias.  
  
"Hey," said Catarina, meeting up with Mort, Mro and Tobias in battle, "Are you on our side or what?"  
  
"Is it really that obvious?" said Tobias.  
  
"Well," said Catarina, grinning, "Beware, because I am a woman and I know how to use a sword..."  
  
By the looks on the boys' faces, they wouldn't be forgetting that for a while. Krystal and Mar, meanwhile, were venting their aggression on Barbossa's crew, remembering that they could turn into Legolae, and showing no mercy whatsoever. Will looked up and saw both Gemma and Elizabeth in trouble at once. He was greatly torn - if he saved Gemma, he could win the bet, but Elizabeth was his fiancee-  
  
"WILL!! WHY ARE YOU HESITATING??" bellowed Elizabeth angrily. That made his mind up.  
  
"Hey! Jack! Look over there!" he said quickly.  
  
"At what?" said Jack.  
  
"Uhh - just look! Can't you see it?" Jack turned and started squinting puzzledly at the wall. Will darted forwards and managed to carry Elizabeth behind the navy soldiers. He then ran back in front.  
  
"I'll be buggered if I can see anything," said Jack sounding confused. He turned round and saw Will, and then saw Gemma. His and Will's eyes met and glared. Gemma was directly between both of them. The atmosphere was so tense, that all the pirates and sailors actually stopped fighting to watch. Jack's and Will's eyes continued to flick from each other to Gemma, and their hands twitched over their cutlass handles.  
  
"Doo-de-doo-de-doooo," said Mako, trying to add to the atmosphere, "Bow bow bow." (That looks really odd when written, but it's the music they always play in Westerns at gunfights - I hope you know which I mean. Otherwise I just look stupid. Well, I do anyway, this is one of the longest author's notes in history...)  
  
Gemma looked between them, looking baffled. "Look, guys, I don't know what's going on between you here, but can you postpone your gunfight at high noon and stop these pirates from lifting the curse with me?"  
  
Both Will and Jack sprang towards her, so dramatically it went into slow motion with more dramatic soundtrack. They ran across the cave, glaring at each other, both aiming at Gemma. The pirates holding onto her looked terrified and let her go, leaving her standing on a rock pile, with both Will and Jack pelting towards her.  
  
"EEEEK!" she shrieked, knowing the laws of momentum. Suddenly, a split second before both Will and Jack collided with her, Mro swung out of nowhere and grabbed onto her, swinging on a rope onto the far side of the cave. He landed and set her carefully back on her feet.  
  
"Wow," she said, "Thanks."  
  
"Always a pleasure," said Mro. They then turned back to the corner of the cave where a loud profanity had just been screamed, and saw Will and Jack had collided with each other and were now sitting on the cave floor clutching their heads.  
  
"You bastard, Jack! Look where you're going!"  
  
"I was going to get to her first, whelp!"  
  
"I AM NOT A WHELP!"  
  
"Yes you are! You're one of the most whelp-like eunuchs I've ever met!"  
  
"But I'm NOT a EU-"  
  
"A eunuch?" smirked Commodore Norrington. The rest of the soldiers tried not to laugh, and the cursed pirates didn't bother and laughed loudly and raucously.  
  
"I'M NOT A EUNUCH!" screeched Will, setting them all off again.  
  
"Not only that," said Jack quickly, "He was once a choir boy."  
  
"And he used to wear his hair in a plait," added Krystal.  
  
"His best friend in his childhood was a girl," said Mar.  
  
"And Jack beat him hands down in a sword fight!" finished Catarina.  
  
"But he cheated!" protested Will, but his claims fell on deaf ears. The pirates were now rolling around on the floor laughing. The girls in the crew quickly circled the cave, knocking out all the pirates, helpless in their giggles. Within a couple of minutes, all of the pirates were subdued. Jack waltzed over to Commodore Norringgton.  
  
"Done and done," he said.  
  
Norrington looked more than slightly bemused. "Be that as it may, you are still a pirate, Sparrow."  
  
"Captain Jack Sparrow, if you please," said Jack.  
  
"Jack, there's a time and a place," said Kathryn. The soldiers all pulled out their swords and pointed them at Jack. Jack surveyed them all with eyebrows raised.  
  
"I think you make a valuable point, missy," said Jack. He stood there for a second, then pelted away down the tunnel. All of the soldiers immediately followed, leaving the girls, Tanuki, Mro, Mort and Tobias in the cave with Will and Elizabeth, who were having a 'reunion' at the back of the cave.  
  
"Didn't Barbossa say that the whole cave was cursed?" said Yilantri.  
  
"But that means that we're all cursed as well," said Danielle, "We'd better figure out how to lift it."  
  
They all walked over to the pool of murky water at the back of the cave. "The instructions are at the bottom of there," said Becky, "Anyone volunteering to swim down there?"  
  
Alex, however, was frowning. She got down on one knee and took a handful of the water. Sniffing it, and then drank it, and her eyes widened. "That's not water!" she said, "That's RUM!"  
  
"How on earth did you figure that out?" said Mort in shock.  
  
"Alex can detect any alcohol within a two-mile radius," explained Frankie.  
  
"Never mind that, is it coconut rum?" said Tobias.  
  
"Think so," grinned Alex. Everyone looked at the pool full of rum.  
  
"Well, let's get started!" said Brandi happily, "Look, there's even tankards over there!"  
  
"Whoa, whoa!" said Gemma, "We're going to drink ALL of it?"  
  
"Or pass out trying!" said Ariana cheerfully, filling her tankard, "Cheers!"  
  
*****  
  
Stargirl14 - Sorry I can't give you more lines, I just have so many people to fit in! Glad you enjoyed it!  
  
Im a Brandybuck - Course he did! It's a very cool phrase! Not that this has much to do with it, but I just watched 'The Haunting', and it has some of the fastest credits I've ever seen...  
  
Tobias - Hee hee. Coconut rum. Do you think a poolful is enough for you?  
  
Tanuki Yasha - Does EVERYONE like coconut rum? Am I missing something? And you find out in the next chapter! Hahaha, I AM evil!  
  
Krystal&Mar - Huzzah for frying pans! Will thinks he looks so cool with the sword - OK, he does - but could he handle a frying pan? EH??  
  
Archangel Genesis 9 - See? It wasn't icky water! It was RUM!  
  
Reasonably Crazy - I'm not descended from a pirate, but I AM descended from Rob Roy MacGregor, who was a famous scottish outlaw, and also from Lord Nelson, who defeated Napoleon at the Battle of Trafalgar (wow, I know history!), and he was a sailor, so maybe they mix to make a pirate?...  
  
Cat Youkai - Tight? How can a chapter be tight? Is that good? Haha, that ankles thing was hilarious... "Ankles all the way!"  
  
Michaela - It is true! I downloaded the script off the Internet, and at one point the script just goes "Will... Will!" "Elizabeth!" "Monkey!" That last bit was Jack...  
  
Theshiz - Um, I think it's slightly difficult to fit fire in EVERY chapter... sorry about that...  
  
Aya - Thanks! I noticed that too, but luckily I have thought of a way to combat it... mwahahaha!  
  
Mako - It's always cool to be a strange girl without classification... I should know...  
  
Beloved Fool - Oh, that's so cool! I need to go to a pub and do that! Hmm, now which of the 46 pubs in my home town do I choose?... That's right, 46. FORTY SIX. I like the deleted scene with, "The immortal Captain Jack Sparrow has such a lovely ring to it... and it's not a bad look, really..." Oh, and, "Completely obsessed with raisins. Humiliated grapes, really. Think about it!" Raisins ARE humiliated grapes...  
  
See y'all soon! 


	14. Farewell, nice hat, and thanks for all t...

Chapter 14  
  
A couple of hours later, most of the pool was drunk, as were the girls. Actually, they were past drunk, and into the realm of doing things completely spontaneously and stupidly - actually, what Frankie was like most of the time. Gemma and Alex were loudly singing 'Jump' (the song Hugh Grant dances to in 'Love Actually') and doing dance moves. Sadly, they didn't know all of the words, and so made up some unsuccessfully.  
  
"JUMP!" they half sang, half shouted, "For MY LOOOVE! JUMP IN!!! AND LA LA SOMETHING ABOVE!!! IF YOU WANNA LA LA KISSES IN THE NIGHT THEN!!!! JUMP!!!!! FOR MY LOOOOOOOVE!!!!!!" A sign of just how drunk Frankie was was that she wasn't protesting to this singing of a song she hated.  
  
Brandi, Catarina, Mro and Mort had attached ropes to the ceiling and were swinging everywhere, giggling non-stop. Mako staggered over to Will. "Hey Will," she said, trying not to giggle, and failing miserably, "You know hahahahahaha I don't know if you know what I know you probably don't know hahaha..."  
  
"Are you quite all right?" said Will slightly worriedly.  
  
"Yes, I'm FINE," said Mako, in a loud whisper, "It's just, well, I don't know if you know-"  
  
"Don't start that again," said Will.  
  
"Yes, well, thing is - I think that you are very very gorgeous, and sweet, and many other things, and I love you. Just so you know." She then staggered off back towards the others. Will looked after her in surprise, glanced at Elizabeth, then ran after her.  
  
"Hey, Mako. Hey!"  
  
"Yes?" said Mako, wobbling slightly, then falling over. Will quickly caught her and sat her down on the ground.  
  
"Listen, Mako. I think you're a great girl, but for one thing, you're several years younger than me, and I'm in love with Elizabeth."  
  
"Still stuck on that then?" said Mako, swaying slightly.  
  
"Yes," smiled Will, "Sorry." He gave her a quick kiss on the lips, then went back to Elizabeth. Mako sat there for a moment, then wandered back over to the others.  
  
"Will just kissed me," she stated proudly, causing Frankie, Cirfia, Kathryn, Hanna and Danielle to stare at her in amazement. "But you know the worst part?" she said miserably, "Chances are I won't remember ANY of this in the morning..."  
  
"I doubt you'll forget THAT," said Hanna enviously.  
  
"I don't know about that, I've had a LOT of rum..."  
  
Diana shuffled over to Tanuki. "You know what?" she asked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You know what?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You know what?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're cool."  
  
"You too."  
  
"As cool as Jack."  
  
"As cool as Elizabeth."  
  
"Great." Tanuki put his arm round her and they settled back to watch Brandi and Catarina spraying rum at Elizabeth from the ceiling, and her trying to figure out where it was coming from.  
  
Suddenly Jack came stumbling back down the tunnel, looking very wet indeed. "What did I miss?" he said.  
  
"Jack, my lad!" shouted Yilantri, "How have you been, old chap?"  
  
"You know, my bead fairies are like LITTLE PEOPLE," said Cirfia, gazing at them in wonder, "Except BEADS."  
  
"You all look slightly more intoxicated than usual," said Jack, an eyebrow raised.  
  
"HEADS UP!" shouted Brandi as she came flying through the air and landed on top of Jack, knocking him over.  
  
"Are you all drunk?" said Jack.  
  
"Not DRUNK," said Alex, "Slightly INEBRIATED, that's the term."  
  
"But - where did you get the rum?" said Jack in amazement.  
  
"Drink - pool - get - instructions," said Tobias, not bothering to make full sentences.  
  
"My kinda curse!" cheered Frankie, raising her tankard in the air.  
  
Jack's eyes flicked from the now empty pool to all the empty tankards littering the cave. "There was... a whole pool of rum... and you drank it all without me?"  
  
"Got it in one," said Jackie, knocking her tankard against Tobias', "A pirate's life is a wonderful life, we're sailin' over the sea! MORE RUM!"  
  
Kathryn leant over the side, peering down into the pool. "All gone," she said in a slightly puzzled tone of voice.  
  
"Y'wha?" said Cirfia.  
  
"No more," stated Kathryn simply.  
  
Jack seemed to be fighting to keep his emotions under control. "The rum is GONE?" he said.  
  
"All gone," said Kathryn again, smiling benignly.  
  
"WHY IS THE RUM GONE???" cried Frankie, Alex, Yilantri and Mako, then burst out giggling again.  
  
Will and Elizabeth ran over to the girls, the boys and Jack (who is also a guy, but you know what I mean) Jack was holding onto his head and staring forward in shock, and the other girls and boys were sitting around. "If you've reached the bottom," said Will confusedly, "Aren't you going to read the instructions?"  
  
"That's a VERY GOOD POINT," said Hanna. But no-one made any movement to read the bottom - Jack was still in a state of shock and horror, and everyone else was too drunk. So Will sighed and walked over to the now- empty pool.  
  
"There's a message," he said.  
  
"Fabby! Brilliant! Absolutely MARVELLOUS!" said Ariana.  
  
"What does it say?" asked Elizabeth.  
  
"It says 'IF YOU CAN READ THIS THE CURSE HAS BEEN LIFTED'," said Will.  
  
"How did you get pirate blood, showing you're a pirate and killing from THAT?" said Krystal and Mar to Mort. He shrugged.  
  
"Wait, there's small print," said Will, "Which says 'The simplicity of the this curse is supposed to be ironic, as pirates would immediately assume the curse has to be lifted by blood and killing. But only a true pirate could probably drink all this rum, thus showing that you're a true pirate - far better than if you've just killed a lot of people."  
  
"Ahh," said Danielle, "Now there's a nice moral."  
  
"So since the curse is lifted," said Elizabeth, "Can you go and get the diamond now?"  
  
"Sure," said Will, and started to climb the large rock pile that the pedestal was on top of. Despite their obvious inebriation, the girls and boys noticed this was the main moment of the story, and stopped giggling to watch. He went up nearer and nearer, finally reaching it. He paused for a second - then reached out and grabbed it.  
  
"Well, that was an anticlimax," said Frankie.  
  
"There wasn't even a bit of soundtrack!" said Becky, "Rip-off!"  
  
Will, meanwhile, was holding the massive pink diamond in his hands. "It's big alright," he said, and turned away from the pedestal, and walked back to Elizabeth, where he got down on one knee. "Elizabeth, will you marry me?"  
  
"Of course I will," beamed Elizabeth, "I still would have even if you hadn't got it for me." She grabbed his hands and pulled him to his feet, where they had the very romantic, very passionate kiss that there's always one of in Disney films.  
  
"Awwww!" chorused some of the girls, while the others muttered, "Lucky bitch."  
  
"Now that that's done..." said Jack, "What say you we get back to Tortuga before the Commodore comes back for the rest of the pirates?"  
  
*****  
  
A few days later, several things happened. First of all, the girls reached the later stages of their hangovers; they were able to stay conscious for more than just a couple of hours and their headaches faded. Second of all, they arrived at Rum Island, causing Jack's spirits to rise considerably from the depression he had sunk into after missing drinking a five-foot deep pool of rum.  
  
The third thing they noticed when they landed. The Dauntless was moored at the docks, and there were naval soldiers everywhere. They were striding through the crowds and stopping people. "How did they get here so quickly?" said Jack.  
  
"Well, maybe it's because of your insisting to stop off at the Rum Runners island to see if they were back in business?" pointed out Will. Jack purposefully ignored him.  
  
"But what are they DOING here?" said Kathryn, "They're not still looking for Jack, are they?"  
  
"We need to go ashore and get more supplies anyway," said Tanuki.  
  
"And more rum," added Jack quickly, "Don't forget the rum."  
  
So they decided that Will, the girls and the boys would sail ashore and leave Jack and Elizabeth on the ship. It took a bit of coaxing to make Will leave Elizabeth alone with Jack, but they pointed out that Elizabeth was just gazing at her big pink diamond and didn't have eyes for anything else.  
  
Ashore, they sent Jackie, well known for her ability to always look innocent, to see what was going on. She learnt that the soldiers were indeed looking for Jack, but not only that, also for all the girls.  
  
"Us?!" exploded Ariana when she heard, "Why?"  
  
"Well, mainly for Diana and Hanna," said Jackie.  
  
"Us?" said Diana, "Why?"  
  
"Did you think of telling your parents you were joining a pirate gang before you sailed off with us?" said Yilantri.  
  
"Umm," said Hanna, "No."  
  
"There you go. Your parents report you missing, the navy sees you in company of pirates and immediately assume you were kidnapped, and therefore assume we were all kidnapped as well," said Catarina, "Damn."  
  
"So what do we do?" said Krystal, "If we go and tell them that we went willingly, then they'll know that Jack is nearby."  
  
They were silent for a while. Gemma cleared her throat. "I think," she said, "That we ought to go and tell them that we escaped, and that we last saw Jack sailing to, uh, Isla de Muerta. That journey'll take a few days, and give Jack time to get away."  
  
"Stop being pirates?" wailed Brandi.  
  
"She's right," said Mar, "Otherwise we'll get Jack into trouble."  
  
It was decided. The girls went back to the ship quickly to say goodbye to Jack and, amazingly, most gave a hug to Elizabeth. The boys - Tanuki, Mort, Mro and Tobias - were staying. The farewell between Tanuki and Diana was quite moving really, and Tanuki promised he'd come back and kidnap her one day.  
  
"You've been a simply wonderful crew," said Jack, "If I'd known how useful you'd be, I would have kidnapped you."  
  
"That really means a lot, Jack," said Kathryn.  
  
"Oh, and one more thing-" said Jack, turning to Gemma, "Who do you like better - me or Will?"  
  
"What?" said Gemma, torn away from where she was saying goodbye to Elizabeth, "Are you still stuck on that?"  
  
"A little," said Will, "So who do you prefer?" He noticed Elizabeth giving him a look. "I'll explain later."  
  
Gemma looked thoughtful. "You mean 'like' as in - that way, don't you?"  
  
"Yes," said Jack.  
  
"Well, I don't particularly like either of you in - that way," said Gemma finally, "I like Jack because he makes me laugh, but I like Will because he's very sweet. Sorry."  
  
"WHAT?" said Will.  
  
"I could say the same thing," said Jack, "Beaten by a WHELP?"  
  
"I'M NOT A WHELP!!!"  
  
Finally the girls sailed back to shore in the rowboat and walked over to the nearest group of navy soldiers. They looked very surprised to find all of the girls they'd been looking for at once, and led them to the Dauntless. Jack, Will, Elizabeth, Mro, Mort, Tobias and Tanuki watched them for a while, then raised anchor and headed back for Tortuga.  
  
"Hey, Elizabeth," said Will when they were alone, "Just where were you on Rum Island? When you vanished for all that time?"  
  
"Oh," said Elizabeth, "I - I was actually enquiring to see whether there were any blacksmith forges for sale. So that you didn't have to work for Mr Brown any more - set up a business of your own. And there was."  
  
"There was?"  
  
"Yes. So I just need to collect some of my clothes and things from Port Royale, then we can come back to Rum Island."  
  
"That's..." Will didn't know what to say. "That's wonderful, Elizabeth."  
  
"I know," beamed Elizabeth.  
  
Jack was discussing their next venture with Tanuki, Mro, Mort and Tobias. "We meet up with my crew in Tortuga," he said, "Then we go off and pillage, plunder, pilfer and loot, savvy?"  
  
"Good plan," said Mort. 


End file.
